Shake Me Down
by aleexmariee
Summary: Rewrite of 'Christian and Rose'. Set after Frostbite. Everything is thrown out of balance when Lissa makes the mistake of kissing Adrian. Rose is torn between wanting to help her best friend and the person she's recently gained a lot of respect for. Her decision is made easier when she gets Christian for the field experience and soon some unwanted feelings begin to develop.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One_

Shock hammered through my body – no, Liss's body – and I was dragged from my lumpy bed to Adrian's comfortable sofa. They were practising awfully late tonight, but trapped just behind the waves of surprise that were dominating Liss's mind was the reason: Adrian had made some progress on his healing ability.

"Wha-what are you doing, Adrian?" Her small voice brought me back to the situation and anger bubbled in my own mind. It didn't take a genius to work out what had just happened.

A half-empty bottle of vodka sat on the kitchenette counter and Liss hadn't had a drop, so that gave some context as to why Adrian was acting like this. It was odd to say that I'd never actually witnessed Adrian when he was completely drunk. By the looks of things, it didn't end well. His arm curved around the back of the sofa, cradling Lissa and urging her towards him.

"What do you think I'm doing?" There was no mention of the word cousin now. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Of course!" Liss replied immediately, but her tone was unconvincing. Breathily, she was looking up at Adrian with widened, sultry eyes. It was thrilling having Adrian this close to me, no, her. She was feeling such strong emotions right now that it was hard to differentiate. His floppy brown hair looked just the same as normal, but he wore that ethereal glow of having been using his magic. It apparently affected other Spirit users, too.

This wasn't the main thing setting Liss's skin on fire, though. This was _wrong_. This was the naughtiest thing should could imagine – sleeping with someone else. Doing something forbidden. Giving into carnal desires on a sofa. Liss was barely trying to shove those feelings down, but she didn't have the willpower to move from her seat, which was practically on Adrian's lap by now.

I was struggling to remember why she needed to leave as images of her straddling Adrian, of her hand travelling south whilst his lips ravaged her, flowed through her, and my, mind.

"Adrian," Liss's voice should have held a warning as he leaned in close to her, but it was a come hither. She was practically begging him as her back arched of its own accord.

Whilst Adrian wasn't slurring, the flush of his cheeks and the expression he wore made it plainly obvious he was drunk. "Lissa, I really want to kiss you right now."

And this time she found herself not pushing him away. His lips were soft and expert on hers despite his intoxicated state. Liss was flushing an unnatural shade of red and her heart was pounding in her ears. Thoughts of Christian were almost gone from her mind as the excitement consumed her. This was forbidden and for some reason, breaking the rules was turning her on to ridiculous levels.

I was just about to pull out of her head and go and knock some sense into her when the door to the room opened.

Lissa and Adrian's kiss came to an immediate halt, but they didn't spring apart. Liss remained with her thigh pressed against Adrian's and his hand on her cheek. Tears sprung to her eyes as she watched Christian's disgusted face. He was hiding his hurt well. After a good thirty seconds of tension, which Christian's hands balling into fists as he no doubt considered torching the both of them, Lissa slapped Adrian's hand away.

"No need to stop on my account." His voice was completely devoid of emotion and his face didn't even flinch as he watched Liss flounder. Anger smouldered behind his eyes and his posture was tense, but his mouth gave away nothing.

"Christian." She spoke his name like a plea, but it changed nothing. Panic was beginning to rise as she realised there was really nothing she could do. She'd sentenced herself and now she was facing the consequences of getting caught up in the moment.

"What, Liss?" Christian inquired, sarcasm leaking into his tone, now. "What's wrong?"

"Christian, I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice quiet and quivering. I was impressed she managed to keep looking at the cool façade Christian projected towards her.

Christian gave her one last look before shaking his head. "We're done," he enunciated, slamming the door behind him as he retreated. There had been no waver. Nothing had suggested there might be room for renegotiation. Still, Liss and Christian had always been solid. A team. This had only been a kiss – maybe something could be done to save their relationship. Then again, there was nothing to say how far that kiss would have gone if Christian hadn't interrupted.

It just seemed so odd to think that Christian and Lissa would ever break up.

Forcing myself up and out of my warm bed, I changed out of my pyjamas and into a pair of trackies and a jumper. As much as I wanted to go and confront Liss and let her know just how much of an idiot she'd been, I knew that there was someone else I really ought to find.

Christian and I had never been the best of friends, but when something like this happened, it was nice to have a shoulder to cry on. I knew from experience, because I'd been needing one for a solid month now. Unfortunately no one had been in my head when Dimitri had told me he was leaving to take up Tasha's offer and I hadn't let anyone know. So, I was dealing with it alone and I knew it wasn't fun. Maybe I could be of assistance to Christian.

We'd at least gained some mutual respect for each other since Spokane and I thought he'd appreciate my company, even if he wouldn't admit it.

I dismissed the idea of going to his room pretty quickly: it would be too much effort to sneak past the guardians on duty and I knew he almost certainly wouldn't be there. Instead, I headed towards the chapel and up towards the attic.

I paused outside the door and listened to see if I could hear anything. Christian's breathing seemed even enough and I really hoped he wasn't crying. I wasn't sure I'd be able to deal with that.

Taking a breath and preparing myself, I began slowly opening the door.

"Liss, I swear to God, if you-" Christian began, his voice shaking with anger.

I quickly stuck my head in before he could continue. "It's me, Christian." I really didn't want him to set me on fire prematurely.

"Oh. Go away, Rose." Was his immediate response. It was what I'd expected, honestly, but he should knew I was more stubborn than to just listen to him.

Entering the small room despite his protests, I took a seat opposite him. The light was dim but I could tell he hadn't been crying. Sat with his legs up and his chin rested on them, Christian looked completely empty. I wondered if he'd tried to cry and couldn't.

"I'm sorry," I offered by way of comfort. Now that I was here I realised that I had no idea what I could possibly to say to Christian that might make him feel any better. I'd never been good at cheering people up – I was in Lissa's head and I still sucked. I had no chance with Christian.

Christian rolled his eyes. "It's hardly your fault. Unless you knew about this the whole time and didn't tell me. Then it is partly your fault."

"Oh, no, this was the first time anything like that happened." I tried to assure him. "I was just as surprised as you were when I got pulled into her head."

Christian snorted. "Right." I supposed it was reasonable that he was doubtful. He'd been jealous of the time Liss spent with Adrian from the beginning.

"I mean it, Christian. I don't have any reason to lie to you." I wasn't trying to defend Liss here, but he deserved to know the truth.

Christian still looked like he highly doubted me. "Was she drunk?" He'd obviously noticed the bottle of vodka like I had.

"No."

I heard a barely audible sigh. "Then why?"

I thought back to Liss's mental process when she'd allowed Adrian to kiss her. And I couldn't relate at all. I'd never been in a committed relationship like Christian and Liss at all and then had the opportunity to cheat. I still wasn't entirely sure why she hadn't just gotten up and left. She'd never even considered Adrian as more than a friend – she'd spent so much time trying to match me up with him.

"I don't know," I finally answered Christian.

Christian barked out some sarcastic laughter. "You were in her head, Rose. Of course you know. Is it really that bad?"

"It's hard to explain. It wasn't really anything to do with Adrian, as such, it was the thrill of doing something forbidden. You should talk to her about it, though, not me. It's not really fair for me to tell you what's going on in her mind."

He sighed, but didn't comment. "Thanks for telling me and thanks for your company. I'd rather be alone."

"No, you don't." Being alone was so much worse. Sitting and thinking about it with no distractions didn't help anything.

"I didn't realise you'd developed mind reading abilities." Christian wasn't even looking at me anymore. His head was leant back against the wall as he stared at the ceiling. I was surprised at how calm he was. I was sure _something_ would have been on fire by now. I would have been impressed, but I knew it was only because sadness had detracted from the anger. It wasn't just stellar self-control.

I was about to reply when the door to the attic opened and an extremely pale Liss emerged in the doorway. I'd been thinking about what to say to Christian so much that I'd been blocking Liss out subconsciously. Liss had apparently forgotten that I existed, too, as her face registered shock at my appearance.

It was good that she ignored me, though, and turned her attention immediately to Christian, who'd made himself look, if possible, even more emotionless at her entrance. "Christian, please, just give me a chance to explain," she begged. "I know I've made an awful mistake. I'd do anything to take it back."

Christian's slight lifting of his eyebrow was the only thing that even showed he'd heard her. She took it as a sign to continue.

"I don't even know what happened." Her words were shaky but so far she was kind of telling the truth. She still wasn't quite sure how she'd been so stupid herself. "Adrian was just coming onto me, he was really drunk and we'd used so much magic I think he was really out of it, and I told him that I didn't want to and he ignored me and then-" She got caught up in her tail and didn't even appear to notice the tears that were trailing down her face until her voice was caught in a choked sob. "I just didn't stop him anymore, it was so stupid. I'm so, so sorry, Christian."

"What are you expecting me to say, Liss?" Christian demanded over Liss's incoherent mumbles about how sorry she was. "You expect me to just forgive you and forget it ever happened? You think I'd ever be able to trust you again?"

"I'd stop practising with Adrian," she pleaded. "I'd stop using my magic altogether."

"It's not good enough," Christian dismissed, though he couldn't quite hide how much that statement hurt him. "I don't want to be around you right now. Just go."

Liss was struggling to keep herself upright. She didn't pick up on the fact that Christian had said 'right now' like I did. There was always a chance he'd forgive her. The only thought running through her head right now, though, was that she'd ruined everything. She begged with him once more, but Christian refused to respond. He was blinking rapidly and his knuckles were white from clenching his fists so hard, but he didn't cry.

Liss turned her attention to me now Christian had made his position clear. "I'm going to stay here with Christian for a bit and then I'll come see you," I told her. It wasn't fair of me to ditch Christian for Lissa when she was the one who'd made a mistake.

Her face fell even further and though she knew I was right, she couldn't stop the rush of anger that hit her. It was all becoming a bit too much for her to handle and I had a feeling it was partly due to some of the bad effects of using spirit finally hitting her. "But you don't even like Christian," It was practically a whine. "I really need you right now, Rose."

I scowled as I checked the bond and some of the blackness I found seeped away. "Well maybe you should have thought about that before you did something so stupid."

Despair quickly took over once more and she fled the attack with tears streaming down her face. I'd leave her to stew on it a bit longer – she'd cheated on her boyfriend and I couldn't find the sympathy I should have felt as her best friend. After a few moments of silence, my foul mood dissipated. I realised that Christian was watching me. "What?" I asked him with a frown.

"Why didn't you just go with her? You know how upset she is. I'll be fine."

I shrugged and rested my chin on my knees, much like Christian had been doing when I'd first come to the attic. "I think she deserves to be upset right now." Then the sudden thought that Liss might actually be so upset she'd return to hurting herself crossed my mind and I checked the bond worriedly. Thankfully she hadn't even considered it – maybe the magic wasn't as bad as I'd thought before.

Christian rolled his eyes. "You don't need to baby me. I'm used to being alone."

His eyes were tired and his case couldn't hold mine any longer. Christian wasn't used to being alone anymore – he'd had Lissa. "I'm not pitying you. I'm just, I don't know, really. Just trying to be your friend, I guess," I explained, my voice quieter than I'd anticipated. "I still think you're a dick, obviously." My smirk was probably a poor attempt to lighten the mood. "But I figured we're sort of anti-friends since Spokane."

Christian chuckled, but his heart wasn't in it. Still, it was better than nothing. "I suppose we could call it a truce."

We managed conversation for a surprising amount of time after that. It was trivial talk, of things that meant nothing to either of us, but the point was that it kept his mind off Lissa. Eventually, we were both too tired to keep going.

As we left the attic, my heart was heavy in my chest. I'd finally come to terms with accepting that Christian and Lissa were together and part of my friendship group and now it was all coming to an end.


	2. Chapter 2

_Next Chapter! I'm really conflicted with how to go on this. In the original Christian and Rose I made Lissa a complete bitch, but it just seems so OOC that I'm not sure whether I want to any more. If anyone has an opinion on the matter, let me know!_

_I also just wanted to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure I use like weird English phrases that don't mean the same thing in America. If I say something that sounds silly, just tell me and I'll try and avoid using it!_

_Thanks so much for all the reviews :D It's really nice to know people are still interested in this idea!_

* * *

_**Chapter Two**_

After leaving the attic last night Liss had fallen asleep, so it wasn't until the next morning that I got to speak to her.

Pausing outside her room, and convincing myself that it wasn't really eavesdropping since I could have listened through the bond anyway, I listened to two people talking inside.

"I can't believe this has happened." Liss paused to snivel and no doubt wipe away her tears. "This is all your fault! Why would you do that?"

Adrian let out a heavy sigh, and I pictured him pacing on the other side of the door. "I'm sorry, cousin." That was back, and it was almost comforting. It was easier to believe he meant it now they were back to familial names. "But you know that this isn't entirely my fault."

"I know." I felt her despair coming through the bond in overpowering waves. I found it difficult to feel sympathetic after what she'd done, but worry wasn't hard. I didn't want her to slip again. "I just don't know what to do. It was just a stupid mistake."

I opened the door as if I'd only caught the final sentence. "There's nothing you can really do," I told Liss, leaning against the wall and trying not to psycho-analyse the pair's body language. The thought of them being romantic together was just so weird. "You'll just have to wait it out and see whether Christian wants to give you another chance or not." There was no point in babying the situation for her. "I don't think being seen around Adrian is your best bet, though."

Adrian had kept his gaze firmly away from me since I'd entered. I'd never given him any promises, never intended to, yet he still felt like he'd betrayed me. "I guess that's my cue to leave." He pushed off from the wall he'd been leaning against, still not glancing in my direction. "I'll see you guys around."

I offered him a small smile, but he didn't look at me to see it. This wasn't Adrian's fault, even if what he'd done was a bit shitty, and he definitely didn't owe me anything in terms of who he kissed. Sure, it was a pretty dick thing to do to try and kiss someone who he knew had a boyfriend, but Liss was the real one at fault for going along with it.

When Adrian was gone, Liss collapsed onto her bed and huddled into herself. "I'm such an idiot, Rose. I don't even know what I was thinking."

I tried to give her a similar smile. "It's okay, Liss. Everything will work out eventually." And it would. She'd either get over Christian, or he'd take her back and it would at least all seem okay for a while even if it didn't last. I just hoped she got over Christian before going back to the dark times before we'd left the Academy. Maybe her relationship with Christian had been the thing that kept her sane when she was using her magic.

"I just feel so useless. I hate myself for doing that to him, Rose." Her sobs were ugly and no amount of make-up would cover her puffy face. "And he must hate me, too. I bet he's wondering what's wrong with him that I'd want to cheat, and there isn't anything! I was just so caught up in the moment. You were in my head, weren't you? I couldn't even explain it to myself."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I felt it. I don't know, I've never been in that situation before. I can't really empathise." She still made the choice. She made the choice because it was exciting and nothing could justify that.

Liss sighed. "I guess so. I just care so much about Christian. I'd never even considered cheating on him before."

And in the time I'd spend with Dimitri, not that it was exactly a committed relationship, I'd never considered cheating on him either. And it wasn't that Adrian hadn't been making constant passes at me since we met, I just wasn't interested. "I know, Liss. Well, try to stop thinking about it." As if it was that simple. "Just concentrate on normal lessons and stuff." I didn't really know what else I could say. Nothing was likely to _actually_cheer Liss up.

"He's never going to talk to me again." She wailed.

I kept my face turned away so she couldn't see me scowl. I just couldn't put myself in her shoes. If it had been anyone but my best friend, I would have condemned them instantly. "Oh, come on, Liss. We both know he's never going to hate you. And don't forget he said 'right now'. It's not guaranteed that he won't take you back. He just needs a bit of time. And probably space." If she started pestering him it wasn't going to get her anywhere.

"Come on, let's go to lessons." She sighed and stood back up, straightening out her clothes. "We're probably already going to be late, I've been complaining for quite a while now."

Offering her a half smile, I followed her out the door and towards the main campus. We didn't have lessons together at the moment, so normally I was stuck with Stan whilst Liss got to go and sit with Mrs. Carmac.

Today, however, was different. Today I got my field experience assignment. I'd been looking forward to this since I'd first come to St. Vladimir's. I wasn't going to let this latest debacle get in the way.

I was still holding out on getting Liss. Even if she was going to be mopey and down, it was still wildly better than Jesse or Ralf. Besides, she was going to need my support. If I was with her twenty-four seven it might speed up the healing process.

When I joined up with Eddie, I was glad to see the wide grin on his face. When Eddie was happy it was impossible not to be. He'd been so down after Spokane. "This is basically what I've spent my whole time at this Academy looking forwards to." He echoed my thoughts as we joined the flood of novices making their way to the gym.

Whilst we walked, I filled him in on the details. I didn't want this to become school gossip for as long as I could help it, but I could trust Eddie and I needed to vent a bit.

Eddie let out a low whistle. "That's rough," he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "I feel like I shouldn't really offer my honest opinion."

"I know you're only thinking what I'm thinking."

"Do you think they'll get back together?"

"I really have no idea." Christian was nothing if not proud and he'd really been hurt by Lissa's betrayal. He'd been hurt, but he loved her. They'd been so good up until this point. "I don't know."

"I should call on him later, make sure he's okay. He'll be cursing if he's got to deal with some damphir in his space for the next six weeks after this."

I chuckled. "Hopefully he's one of the Moroi who gets left out of the field experience."

Inside the gym, Alberta was nice enough to keep the intro brief. I was sure she'd spend a lot of time lecturing us on the ins and outs of the experience after we'd quieted down and found out our charges.

When Eddie's name came up, he crossed his fingers and looked slightly worried. Whilst I was pretty much guaranteed to get Lissa as my Moroi, Eddie was completely random in his assignment. I hoped he wouldn't be so unlucky as to get someone he didn't like. "Eddie Castile, you will be guarding Vasilisa Dragomir." Alberta caught my eyes as she said it with an almost warning look that I wasn't to make a scene.

I grimaced. That meant I was going to be stuck with someone awful. Knowing Alberta, she'd probably have put me with Jesse or Ralf just to test my patience. "I'm sorry," he apologised, scratching the back of his head, but trying not to smile. He'd just secured himself a safe six weeks.

I didn't bother replying until I found out who my own assignment was. "Rosemarie Hathaway, you will be guarding Christian Ozera."

My mood perked up. Whilst it wasn't ideal, it certainly wasn't bad. Christian needed the company and he definitely wasn't Jesse. On the other hand, it meant I would be spending no time with Lissa at all. It wasn't good for her and when I got over what she'd done, I would miss her too.

Eddie kept his gaze away from mine when we were finally allowed to leave the gym, packets containing the information about our Moroi in-hand. "Under normal circumstances I would have said this worked out okay."

"It's still not the end of the world." I patted him on the back. "I can deal with Christian. I was dreading far worse."

"I hope Lissa doesn't want to do girl chat. I'm not sure I'm prepared for this."

I frowned as we walked towards the cafeteria. "I'm not even sure Christian will be in here." Then I pouted. "Guarding someone without a bond is harder than I thought."

Eddie laughed as we entered the room. I spotted Lissa instantly with the help of the bond. She didn't notice us – she was too busy staring at Christian. When Christian, who was sat alone, turned to glare at her she was forced to turn away with rosy cheeks, and that was when she noticed us approaching her table.

She beamed at me. "You're guarding me?" It was the first smile I'd seen from her all day, and I was forced to wipe it out with a shake of my head. Who I was guarding was bound to upset her even more.

"No, I'm guarding Christian." I tried to ignore her flinch. More misery came piling in through the bond. "Sorry Liss. But you got Eddie!" I tried to cheer her up. "So at least you got someone really good."

Liss forced herself to smile at Eddie. "That's cool," she agreed, though I could tell through the bond she thought it was anything but cool. She'd been looking forward to getting to spend time with me. She thought I'd be able to cheer her up.

"I'd better go and talk to him."

I was half grateful and half guilty to be leaving Lissa's side. Whilst I knew that I should want to be there for her all the time to make her feel better, she really wasn't great company when she was like this. And part of me knew that she didn't really deserve cheering up. She'd completely brought this on herself.

"Hey." I greeted Christian as I slid down into the chair beside him.

Christian grimaced. "What are you doing here? I told you I don't need a pity party."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't have a choice," I explained, passing him the packet which included all his personal details. "Lord Ozera," I added sarcastically on the end.

There was a loud groan from the side of me. "I was hoping I wouldn't get anyone. Or at least someone who I could just ignore."

I was forced to laugh at that. "Well, you've got me. It's going to be fun times."

"Don't expect me to be in a good mood. Like, at all," he warned, continuing to grimace and pick at his food whilst not looking at me.

"Don't worry, you never seem to be in a good mood around me anyway. I can't believe I'm going to have to put up with you for a month." Through the banter, I knew that both of us didn't really mind this arrangement. It was just the nature of our relationship. It would have been odd if we hadn't had this reaction.

I just hoped Christian wouldn't _actually_ be too depressed for the next month.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter is up! So glad so many people are still enjoying this! My exams will be over at the end of June, so might not be frequent updates until then. Then I'm going to Germany with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks, but I normally find some spare time whilst I'm over there!_

_Thanks for all the reviews! :D_

* * *

_Chapter Three_

The sun was still streaming in from behind the curtains when my eyes opened the next morning. I'd always been a stay in bed for as long as possible person, but I guess waking up to an alarm clock every day for as long as I could remember had changed my sleeping pattern for good.

Judging by the light, there was still a while before Christian would be stirring. I sat up and glanced over to where my bag of belongings was placed in the corner. I'd just go and fetch my book and try to read it in the semi darkness. Before the Dimitri incident I was perfectly happy to lay and imagine things, but now my thoughts turned sour too quickly.

As quietly as possible, I peeled the covers back and shivered at the intruding cold air. Christian's floorboards squeaked every other footstep as I tiptoed across them and I flinched each time.

Rifling through my bag when I got there, I quickly realised that my book was near the bottom. It was typical, really. I was barely making any noise, but Christian's voice proved I'd managed to wake him up. "What are you doing?" He groaned. "I thought you liked a lie in. I was even hoping maybe we could skip first lesson."

I chuckled. "So did I, but I'm normally up for training at this time. I guess it just altered my body clock." Now I could make as much noise as I wanted, I found my book in seconds.

"I thought you'd have stopped training since Belikov left."

"No." I held back my wince. The wound was still fresh, even if it had been a month by now.

"How come?" His questions were innocent, but not snapping at him was hard. I didn't want to give anything away.

"Because training makes me better." It was the condensed version, but it would do. "And I need to be the best if I'm going to be assigned to Liss." It had slipped out before I realised, but I didn't apologise.

It was only half the answer. The main reason was because it distracted me. That was why I'd doubled the number of hours I trained after school. Liss had never minded since she spent most of her time with Adrian or Christian. Christian was basically right when he told me "we all know you're already the best, Rose."

I shrugged him off. "I just like to make sure," I replied. "And I just got into the habit of it, anyway. Go back to sleep. I'm just going to read for a bit."

"You don't have to not train just because you're supposed to be guarding me." Christian was still propping himself up by his elbows so he could see me in my bed on the floor. "I don't mind like watching or something."

The offer was tempting, but I was forced to decline. I was pretty sure making your Moroi sit in a cold gym two hours before he was supposed to be getting up wasn't part of the field experience. "No, it's okay."

"Come on, let's just go." Christian had already pulled the covers back and stood up, wearing only a long t-shirt and his boxers. My eyes lingered on his legs longer than I felt they should. "I kind of want to see what you actually do, anyway."

I wasn't sure if he was being honest or just trying to be nice, but I decided I didn't care. "Okay." I grinned at him. I was definitely grateful I wasn't going to have to sit and try and keep my mind on a book I wasn't interested in. "Hey, I can show you some moves, if you wanted."

Christian's grin widened. "I thought I might put you off if I asked you before we got to the gym. But yeah, that would be cool."

"You want me to train you properly? Like how Dimitri trained me?" I was impressed at myself for not stumbling over the words. "If I'm here for the field experience we can probably get quite a lot done."

"I'd like that." He walked to his wardrobe and pulled out some gym clothes. "I mean, I may as well do the whole thing. It'd be pretty cool to actually be good at this stuff. Should we ask Kirova about this?"

"There's no point," I decided, standing up and grabbing my own clothes. "I'll explain it to her if she ever finds out and has a problem with it." Then I grinned at him. "And if you're wanting to do this properly, then it means laps."

I was rewarded with a groan. Maybe this would be more fun than I'd anticipated.

* * *

Alberta entered the classroom without knocking and shifted her weight from heel to heel. I frowned even deeper when I heard what she had to say. "Can I speak to Rose, please?" She asked Christian's teacher with a stern face.

The Moroi woman nodded and carried on with her lesson without giving Alberta a second glance whilst I followed her out. I felt Christian's gaze lingering on my back.

"What's up?" I inquired, trying to keep the worry out of my tone. Alberta didn't look like she was joking around, but I couldn't think what on earth she might have to say to me.

"I think we should go to my office," she decided, guardian mask intact.

I resisted the urge to fidget as we walked. It took less than five minutes to get there, but it felt like a lifetime. What made it worse was that I couldn't really think of any realistic things she might have to tell me. The only possibility I had was that someone had died and that would have to mean either my mother or Dimitri. Though I flinched at the thought, I couldn't really believe either of them would die. They were too good at their job.

"Take a seat," she instructed, gesturing to a chair in front of her desk. After shutting the door, Alberta took a heavy seat opposite me, face haggard. I watched her expectantly. "This probably won't be something you've considered."

I frowned and couldn't stop myself twirling a piece of hair around my finger nervously. "Just tell me."

"Victor Dashkov's trial is coming up next week." She dropped the bomb shell.

I shot to my feet, leaning over the desk, gripping it so hard that my fingers turned white. "What?" Not raising my voice was almost impossible. "How is that monster even entitled to a trial? He's so obviously guilty. He doesn't need a trial." Then I stopped myself. "We are going, right?" I checked. "We have to be there to make sure he goes down."

Alberta took a breath before answering. "He requested a trial and the law requires that we give it to him." Alberta sounded as angry as I was about this fact. "And yes, I've managed to get it so that you, Vasilisa, Christian, Eddie and Adrian can attend." She acknowledged. "We'll be leaving in a week."

I'd kind of hoped it would just be Lissa and I going, since the tension between Liss and Christian wouldn't be ideal, but I knew we were all going because of the field experience. I wasn't sure why Adrian was attending. "I guess I'll go and tell Liss." She wasn't going to take this well, especially with all the stress she was already under.

"Everything's arranged, I'll give you more details in a few days," she dismissed me.

Leaving the room, I knew I had to go back to Christian's lesson first and explain the situation to him. I imagined he would be just as pissed off as I was. My hands clenched as I thought about it. Of course there was no real way that he'd get away with this. There was so much evidence stacked against him it was unreal; but the fact that he'd even been allowed a trial worried me. The Moroi world wasn't normally about "innocent until proven guilty" from what I'd heard.

Gritting my teeth, I forced composure onto my face as I walked through the classroom door and retook my position against the back wall. Christian immediately span around to ask with his eyes what Alberta had wanted. I just grimaced harder, causing Christian to replicate my expression.

Luckily, the time I'd spent with Alberta mean that the lesson was over almost as soon as I'd gotten back.

"What was that about?" Christian asked as soon as we were out of the room. "You look angry."

"Victor Dashkov is having a trial."

"You're kidding, right?" Christian let out a humourless laugh. "That bastard shouldn't even be seeing daylight again, never mind given even a chance of being set free."

"Yeah." I clenched my hands at my sides. "Christian, I really have to go and tell Liss about this. All five of us are going to the trial."

"Yeah, I kind of expected it."

"You can go and sit in your room or something if you want, it's just if you get seen without me then I'll be in trouble."

"It's fine, I'll just come," He conceded, attempting to hide his scowl for my benefit. "I can't just avoid her forever, even if I want to."

I offered him a small smile. "Thanks."

Checking the bond, I found that she was sat in her room filing her nails. She normally trained magic with Adrian around this time, but was avoiding that for obvious reasons. I was glad that she was only with Eddie; Christian might not have been able to stop himself lashing out if Adrian had been around. This trip to court was likely to be nothing short of a disaster even if Victor was going to be properly sentenced. The tension would be awful.

I knocked on her door and she grinned, the thought that it was Christian coming to talk to her instantly springing to the forefront of her mind. It was a shame it wasn't that positive. I was surprised she was that positive anyway.

When she opened the door and took in our expressions, though, her mood dimmed. "What's happened?" She questioned, not quite being able to stop herself staring at Christian. He ignored her as best he could.

"Victor Dashkov is having a trial." I explained, trying to gauge her reaction both through the bond carefully. This, piled on with her relationship troubles, might tip her over the edge.

Liss paled immediately and tears gathered in her eyes. "There's a chance he'll get free?" She asked me, her voice small.

"There's no way he can get free." I assured her. "Look at all the evidence we've got. Alberta says it's just because it's the law for him to have one." I suddenly wondered whether Dimitri would get called to give evidence. I really hoped he wouldn't. I wasn't ready to deal with that just yet.

Though this soothed Liss slightly, she was still distraught. Eddie hadn't been particularly involved in the Dashkov case, so he was just awkwardly kind of sitting on the bed like he had been when we'd come in. "But, what if he does get away?" The tears were coming thick and fast now and just as I was about to reach out and hug her, Christian beat me to it.

"It's okay, Liss," he calmed her, rubbing his hand up and down her back gently and allowing her to sob into his shirt. His mouth was tight. I wasn't sure whether that was because Liss was upset, or because he was conflicted about being this close to her.

"What if he gets away?" Though this was the main concern on Liss's mind, she couldn't help but revel in the feeling of Christian looking after her again. "What if he came after me again?"

"You know he won't get away Liss." Christian sounds surer than any of us felt. "We're even going there to give evidence. No one would be able to find him innocent after listening to you."

Liss nodded gently into his chest. "You really think so?"

"Of course." Even though what he said was probably true, it was just such a shock to everyone that we couldn't quite let ourselves except the fact that there really wasn't any way he could get out of this one.

Christian pulled back after that, much to Liss's disappointment, and walked back over to me, trying to control his facial expression into the guardian mask Dimitri had perfected so well. "Can we, um, get going? I kind of need to eat," he explained, after searching for a reasonable excuse to leave.

"Sure." Not that I really had a choice. I had to do whatever Christian wanted to do. "It'll be fine," I assured Liss for the final time. I'd keep an eye on her through the bond, but I knew she'd be okay with Eddie there. Eddie was a calming presence.

"Thanks Rose. And," she paused and glanced away. "Thanks Christian."

He didn't respond to her, but opened the door and we walked out. I gave her one more encouraging smile before catching up with Christian. "You okay?" I didn't want him to think I was prying.

He shrugged. "You train again in the evening's right?" He checked, his lips turning up slightly in the corner.

I grinned. "I'm surprised you can still walk." I teased, trying to keep it light-hearted.

Christian chuckled, much to my delight. "I can't. I was hoping I could just stick to punching things this time."


	4. Chapter 4

_Next chapter is here! I'm quite liking the ideas I have for this, just trying to think of something to happen at the Academy before the real exciting events I have planned! Thanks for all the reviews, this one's quite a long chapter, hope you like it :D_

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_**Chapter Four**_

The journey to court couldn't have been any more awkward. We were supposed to stick with our field experience assignments, of course, and so Christian and I were stood in one spot, with Liss and Eddie in another and Adrian somewhere in between looking like he was in desperate need of a drink.

The plane ride was thankfully much better. In our respective seats, it was easy not to feel as awkward since our eyes didn't keep straying to each other and Liss didn't keep staring at Christian by accident until he glared at her.

"You don't know if Dimitri's coming to this, do you?" I found myself asking Christian. There was a chance that he'd be called as a witness as well, though it sounded as though Alberta had actually had to convince people to let us come, which didn't really make sense considering this whole thing was about Liss. It meant Dimitri was less likely to be here, though. Which I was glad about.

Probably.

Christian turned from where he'd been staring out of the window. "Belikov? I don't think so, why?"

I tried for nonchalance. "Just wondered, since he was pretty involved with it all," I half lied. Since the charm had been on Dimitri, it meant he was technically the most involved guardian and a guardian's word had to mean more than a few students. Since none of the school's guardian's who'd even come to the house with us had accompanied us to court, I wondered whether they hadn't requested any to come. What kind of trial was this, exactly?

Christian frowned. "I don't know. My Aunt does live pretty far away. Maybe they just thought he wouldn't be interested."

"He'd definitely come, if they'd invited him." It was an automatic correction. "He'd want Victor sent down just as much as the rest of us."

"I wouldn't know." He admitted with a shrug.

In the room we'd been assigned, I searched around for spare sheets that I could use on the floor, but was currently coming up short. Why they'd put us in a room with a double bed, I didn't know. Perhaps twin rooms didn't exist at Court. After the various cupboards had been opened and been revealed as empty, I scowled. "There's no extra bedding."

Christian shrugged. "I don't care if you sleep in the bed. It's not exactly small." Which was true. The bed was a bit bigger than the standard doubles that they had in the Academy and it did look extremely comfy. I'd have felt like I was missing out if I didn't get to sleep in it.

"Okay," I agreed. Liss would be mortified if she knew, but I pushed that from my mind. I wasn't sleeping on the floor without any blankets. "So, what do you want to do now?" It was kind of weird, with it just being the two of us. Normally we'd have just gone and found Liss and hung out.

"Erm, I guess we could go and walk around Court or something. There's bound to be something we can find to do."

It sounded like a plan, we just had to hope that we wouldn't run into Lissa. I would make an effort to check the bond and make sure I knew where she was.

Court, as it turned out, was relatively boring. The buildings were beautiful, made in an ancient style, but they got repetitive after a while. It so different compared to being at the Academy that I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. I'd rather just go to the gym and train like I'd been spending most of my time recently.

My eyes widened when I saw a familiar mop of blonde hair on a short Moroi, though. "Mia!" I called out to her, not bothering to ask Christian whether he wanted the company. This was definitely the best way to find something to do. Despite our sketchy past, Mia and I had gained mutual respect for each other since Spokane. I was actually quite looking forward to talking to her.

"Oh, Rose!" She exclaimed, grinning and giving me a hug, then smiling more shyly at Christian. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here for Victor Dashkov's 'trial'." My smile died for a moment. "But that's not until tomorrow, so now we're just kind of wandering around and looking for something to do."

"Well then let's go and get coffee." She decided. "There's a really neat little café that I go to a lot."

We walked together and I noticed the little changes in Mia. She definitely looked a lot happier, that was for sure. "So, how's court?" Christian inquired. "Better than the Academy, I'd imagine." He'd never been the biggest St. Vladimir's fan, but his opinion had taken another knock after the issues with Lissa.

"It's good, actually. Much less stress," she teased. "Where's Liss and everyone else? I wasn't expecting you to be spending time with each other."

Christian managed to maintain a straight face as he told her bluntly "we're not together anymore."

Mia's eyebrows raised in surprise. "What happened? You were all over each other last time I saw you."

"She cheated on me with Adrian." He replied, jaw tightening. This conversation really needed to change direction pretty quickly.

"Wow, well, I'm sorry to hear that." Mia looked like she was struggling for something to say. "Oh, here's the café." She pushed open the door of the small corner building in front of us.

Christian smirked at my choice of drink. "Drinking coffee doesn't make you manlier," I informed him as I slurped on my chocolate milkshake. "I'm pretty sure it just means I'm enjoying my drink more than you."

That was when I noticed Mia's hands. They resembled mine in a way I didn't expect any Moroi's to. "You started training?" I asked her, surprised. "Where did you find someone in Court who was willing to risk that?"

She shrugged. "Some of my dad's friends are guardians and they agreed to train me since I really wanted to. I think they pitied me after the Spokane thing. I know I'm not very good or anything, but it's fun. And I can see that I'm improving."

"It's cool." Christian eyed her hands with raised eyebrows. "If Rose agrees to keep training me during the field experience it would be pretty awesome."

"You'll give up soon, since I'm going to keep making you run." I predicted. "You'll realise you value walking too much."

"So you weren't really mad about not getting Liss for the field experience?" Mia inquired, looking like she'd considered whether asking that was insensitive or not.

I shrugged. "Actually, I don't really mind. I'm finding it difficult to sympathise and Eddie will be more patient with her, he's more professional like that. I'd have gotten... frustrated." Though I'd have dealt with Liss's bad moods well at first, it would have eventually worn me down until I'd begun snapping at her. She was the one who'd cheated on Christian and she didn't really deserve someone constantly comforting her. Maybe getting Eddie for the field experience would be a wake-up call for her. Then again, I was fairly sure she knew just how awful what she'd done was.

Being in her head had almost made it worst. Nothing could justify the way she'd hurt Christian.

I was also grateful that I'd been the one to get Christian for the field experience. Other than Eddie, I imagined he'd have a fairly grim time with anyone else, and he didn't really deserve that right now. "Makes sense."

We were interrupted by a Moroi who coughed slightly awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair. "Rose Hathaway?" He checked, glancing at me expectantly.

"Erm, yes," I acknowledged. "What's up?"

"I've been asked to give you this." He passed me a small white envelope before walking away.

Frowning, I ripped open the paper to study the piece of card inside.

_Rose,_

_I was so happy to hear about your arrival. I'm sure it'll make tomorrow's proceedings that much more entertaining. I've been curious for quite some time about how Vasilisa is doing, and your romantic escapades are always an amusing diversion. I can't wait to share them in the courtroom tomorrow._

_Best,_

_V.D._

I knew that my face had paled, but I did my best to control my expression and slipped the card into my pocket.

"What was it?" Christian said, frowning as both he and Mia studied me.

"Just some guardian stuff," I dismissed, trying not to let my breathing become erratic. Even if Dimitri wasn't working at the Academy any more, this would still destroy both our reputations. We'd done something against the rules and I didn't want either of us to have to face the consequences of that, especially not with the way it had ended.

And more than that, it stung to be reminded just how far away and completely uninvolved in my life Dimitri was right now.

Christian looked sceptical, but I was glad when he didn't push it. I wished Dimitri was here. He'd know what to do about this. He'd know what to say to make me feel better, and he'd no doubt know what to say to stop Victor ratting us out.

"Oh!" Mia exclaimed. "I really have to get going, I was supposed to meet my dad five minutes ago." She downed her coffee and stood up. "Hopefully I'll see you again before you go back to the Academy."

"We'll try," Christian assured her. "See you around."

Mia gave us one last wave before scurrying off to wherever she was meeting her father. "So," Christian continued to sip on his coffee, swirling it around with a grimace. "What do we do now?"

"Well, before we do anything, I'm going to finish this wonderful milkshake." I assured him with a large smirk. "But then, I don't know. There has to be something at Court we can do. It can't just be politics and all that shit."

"I guess we'll just start walking again." I checked the bond for Lissa, but to my surprise she was getting ready to go and see the queen. If I had been by myself I would have spied on her, but I had to be in my own head to keep Christian company. I'd just ask her about it later.

"We have a TV in the room, right?" Christian suddenly questioned, finishing the last of his drink.

I tried to remember. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we do." I agreed. "In fact, it looked pretty big. Why?"

"Let's just go and see if we can buy a DVD from somewhere." He suggested. "I don't really feel like walking around until we walk into someone I don't want to talk to."

I chuckled. "Sure. But as long as we're going in search of popcorn too," I bargained. "Because it's hardly movie night without popcorn."

"I suppose that's doable. Let's go and look around." He stood up and stretched, revealing a small amount of skin. I wondered idly if Christian would become muscular if he stuck to training. From that glimpse, he already looked slightly less skinny that some of the Moroi I'd seen shirtless.

We meandered aimlessly for a while, searching for a DVD shop. Frowning at the excessive amount of clothes shops and salons, I was almost jealous that I couldn't go in and buy clothes and get my nails done like Liss and I liked to when we were in Portland. Even if we hadn't had tons of money, even buying cheap clothes had been entertaining. It had been relaxed.

"Oh, this place looks promising." Christian pointed out when we turned the corner and onto what looked like a less expensive street with smaller shops. He pushed the door of the small shop open and glanced around at the several DVDs. It was like the Blockbusters Liss and I had often visited in Portland.

The elderly Moroi woman who was behind the counter gave us a warm smile as we entered and allowed us to look around to see what we felt like. We both automatically steered clear of the romance section, but I favoured comedy whereas Christian looked dead set on horror.

"No," I groaned when he picked up _Halloween_. "I don't like gore." It wasn't that it made me feel ill or anything, it was just a bit cringy sometimes. I'd really rather not watch it. "What about this?" I suggested, picking up _The Hangover_. It was something Liss and I had watched many times and it'd definitely lighten the mood.

Christian didn't look impressed. "Boring," he dismissed. "How about this?" He held up _28 Days Later_ and I pouted.

"But I don't like gross stuff."

That caused Christian to grin at me. "Well," he drawled. "Since I'm the one paying, I guess it's not really up to you. You can pick the popcorn."

"Fine. But I'm not impressed. I'll probably fall asleep."

"More popcorn for me, then."

The old woman at the desk smiled as us. "Could I interest you in one of our special offers?" She inquired as we studied the various popcorn flavours. "We've got three for two on films, popcorn, soft drinks, spirits and beer," she explained, gesturing to the fridge behind her that I hadn't noticed before.

Christian was looking longingly at the alcohol and I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself laughing. I could understand that he felt like a drink right about now and it wasn't exactly available at the Academy. I wasn't sure how the vampire world stood on asking for ID, but since she offered I supposed it wasn't a problem. "You're paying," I reminded him.

He grinned at my acceptance and I realised that I was in pretty dire need of a drink too. On top of the trial and Victor's note, which I couldn't completely banish from my mind, I'd been pretty down in general since Dimitri left. Even if it was just Christian, I expected he was probably better company when he was drunk.

Back in the room, I left Christian to try and figure how to get the film working whilst I went to put on my pyjamas in the bathroom and retrieve the two plastic cups that Court had provided; presumably with the intention that we'd use them for drinking water, rather than mixing vodka and coke.

The adverts were rolling when I re-entered and Christian had changed into a loose t-shirt and was just wearing his boxers on his bottom half. It was what he'd continued to sleep in, despite my half-hearted complaints on my first night as his guardian. He'd already opened the popcorn and I scowled. "Hey! Don't go eating it all before I'm even here."

Christian popped a piece into his mouth and I clambered into the bed to grab the bag from him and pass him the glasses. "Here. And don't be a baby about how much vodka you put in."

By the time the film actually started Christian and I were sitting on our respective sides of the big bed stuffing our faces with popcorn and downing our drinks none too slowly. The buzz was welcome. Not only did it make it easier to forget about all the issues with Dimitri and Victor, it also blocked out Liss, who was in such a foul mood all of the time.

I jumped for about the third time as a zombie popped up on screen and Christian laughed loudly. "I never had you pegged as a wimp."

I scowled. "I'm not! I'm sure it's like a natural reaction to jump at stuff like that."

"I didn't jump."

"I'm going to use the bathroom." I muttered, downing the last of my drink and hating the constant need to pee when I drank. Christian had grabbed my glass to refill it and I was already swaying as I walked. Having an awful hangover during the trial tomorrow probably wasn't the best idea, but I was enjoying myself, so I didn't really care. It was a while since I'd been this relaxed.

"Hey!" I exclaimed as Christian tipped the bag of popcorn into his mouth, no doubt finishing off the last of it. Leaping towards the bed, I knelt beside him and snatched the bag. "There was still loads left," I whined, grimacing down at him and then back into the empty bag. "I should really send you out to get more," I teased, realising that he'd paused the film for me.

He handed me a drink but I held my finger up so that I could get back into a sitting position before taking it from him and taking a large gulp. It tasted just like coke now and Christian started the film running, only for another face to pop up and cause me to almost spill my drink. Christian snorted and though I tried to keep a straight face, I ended up giggling with him.

I realised then that because of where I'd been kneeling, I was actually right next to Christian now, our bare legs pressed against each other and our shoulders touching. It was surprisingly nice. I'd never even really had this kind of contact with Dimitri and now that I was drunk, just having Christian nice and warm beside me was comforting.

When the film was nearly finished and we'd completely run out of alcohol, Christian groaned. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. We're going to feel terrible tomorrow."

I grinned at him when his head slumped onto my shoulder heavily. "It was totally worth it, though. It's been fun." Then I smirked. "Never thought I'd say that about spending time with you."

Christian just smiled softly, though. "I'm really glad I got you as my guardian, Rose," he admitted. "Thanks for making me feel better."

I grinned and had the sudden urge to wrap my arm around his shoulder, or ruffle his messy black hair which was tickling my neck, but I resisted. "I'm actually really glad I got you as my Moroi, too," I confessed, though I wasn't going to admit it was because he'd been fairly effective in keeping my mind off Dimitri. "I didn't think you'd be a soppy drunk," I teased, causing him to punch me weakly in the arm.

"I was just trying to be nice," he whined.

"We're really going to need to work on your punching, too." I taunted further, grinning as he lifted his head to scowl at me.

"I'm fairly sure I could hurt you if I was trying." He decided. "Besides, I can just set you on fire, which is always going to win. You wouldn't be laughing if I singed all your hair off."

"That'd be cheating, and I could probably get you arrested or something," I countered. "Plus, you'd never set my pretty hair on fire."

Christian snorted. "It'd be pretty funny if you were bald."

I fluffed my hair dramatically, almost forgetting it was Christian sat beside me. "But I like my hair." Christian's eyes followed my movements.

"I think we should probably go to sleep," Christian decided, his sentence ending with slurred words. "Otherwise we're going to be tired _and_ hungover, which definitely isn't a good combination."

"Good idea," I agreed. "But I'm warning you now that I starfish, so I'm hoping you don't mind sleeping on the edge."

"I don't think so." He got out of the bed to turn the TV and the light off, giving me time to get comfortable, my legs taking up as much space as I could with my small frame.

When Christian returned to the bed I could barely make him out in the dark, but I felt as he collided with my leg, clearly expecting me to have been joking.

"Ha, ha," he muttered. But his solution wasn't what I was expecting. He laid parallel to me and simply hooked his leg around mine, rather intimately at that. I tried to ignore the slight tingles that spread throughout my body and attributed them to lack of physical contact and missing Dimitri.

It definitely wasn't directed towards Christian, I was sure of that, even when he shifted again so that his chest was almost completely against my back. His arm was forced to wrap around my stomach to keep comfortable. I flushed in the dark, glad that he couldn't see it, and shut my eyes. Sleep was definitely what I needed right now. Sleep, and hopefully being so drunk that I didn't have this memory in the morning.

"Night, Rose," Christian mumbled, his breath tickling my ear and causing a shiver to run through me, which I was sure he must have felt.

"Goodnight, Christian," I replied, really hoping that what had just happened was a hallucination.


	5. Chapter 5

_Yay new chapter. This section is basically to allow the plot that's going to happen after where I stopped the original Christian and Rose story. Plus it gives the opportunity to have more realistic Rose x Christian interaction. Thanks for the reviews! Hope you like this chapter :D Also the lyrics that the song is from is absolutely fantastic. I'd recommend it to everyone!_

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_**Chapter Five**_

Any of the space which had been between Christian and I when we went to sleep had vanished. The front of his body, including his morning wood, pressed in my back and his warmth seeped into me. My t-shirt had ridden up so far that it revealed the bottom of my bra.

Christian was taking full advantage of that fact as his fingers traced random patterns on the flat skin of my stomach. I wasn't sure if he was doing it automatically in a half asleep state or because he wanted to. I assumed it was the first, of course, but either way, for some reason, I chose to close my eyes again and allow him to continue. He'd lulled me into a trance with his, almost intimate, ministrations.

I had to bite my lip to stop myself making a noise when his fingers dipped dangerously close to my shorts, which had fallen down ever so slightly in my sleep. I shivered against his hard body behind me, trying to swallow the guilt that threatened to rise, but Christian obviously passed it off as being in my sleep, because he continued.

His face was buried in my hair and his breathing was shallow. I was almost positive he wasn't completely awake yet. Maybe he was still drunk. We had drank an awful lot last night. Just when I was starting to wonder whether this was even sexual at all and whether I was supposed to be yearning for his fingers to drop even lower, Christian removed his arm and made a move to sit up.

Pouting, I flipped onto my back and looked up at him. "Where are you going?"

Christian's cheeks tinged pink. "We do have a trial to go to," he reminded me, not quite meeting my eyes. "And we can't just lay in bed forever, despite how much my headache wants to protest that."

I chuckled. I was on the verge of telling him he should just continue to stroke me and we'd forget about everything else, despite the guilt I continued to swallow, but I resisted. "Ten more minutes?" I whined instead.

Christian hesitated for a good thirty seconds before sighing and nodding. "Fine, but only because I'm pretty sure I might throw up if I stand up right now."

Though my head was pounding and my stomach felt fairly rough, I definitely wasn't that bad.

"Flip over," Christian instructed me, waiting expectantly as I turned so that I was laying on my front, my face buried in the pillow.

I knew goose bumps had risen on my skin when his fingers began tracing patterns on my back, but I refused to give away how embarrassing that was. Just as I was about to ask what he was doing, Christian answered my question for me. "Having my back stroked was my favourite thing in the world when I was little. My mum used to do it to make me go to sleep before what happened," He explained, skimming over my bra strap to reach the top of my back. "I always really liked it."

I tried to cover my surprise he'd revealed something that personal, I smiled. I couldn't meet his gaze, it would have been too much. Right now, I could pretend that this was purely platonic. I could pretend that it was an extension of our drunkenness. "I can see why," I agreed. "It's nice. I think you might send me back to sleep, though."

Just as I felt my eyes slipping closed and was trying to resist the tingles spreading through my body, there was a knock on the door. I groaned. "I'll get it. I don't think whoever it is will appreciate you throwing up on them."

I stumbled slightly when I got up and Christian laughed whilst I glared at him and ran a hand through my dishevelled hair. Opening the door, I was greeted by Eddie and Lissa. I hadn't been paying any attention to the bond. "Oh, hey guys," I greeted, releasing a small yawn to cover the guilt that threatened to escape. "What's up?"

"I came to bring you clothes," Eddie explained, holding out some black and white garments. "And the trial's not that far away. You look rough."

Lissa was surprised by my appearance. I hadn't looked in the mirror, but I was sure I couldn't look that bad. "Right," I agreed. Liss was trying to see round me and into the room and frowned at the lack of sheets on the floor and the empty bottle of vodka. "Do you want to, erm, come in?" I inquired slightly awkwardly. I was pretty sure that was the opposite of what Christian would want. "Or are we just meeting you at the trial? Because I need to shower and stuff."

Liss really wanted to come in and she particularly wanted to question me on exactly what we'd done last night, but thankfully, she remembered my advice about not crowding Christian. "We'll meet you at the trial. It's in an hour."

"Okay Liss. And it'll all be fine. There's no need to worry."

"I just want it to be over." She took one more glance behind me, presumably at Christian, though I wasn't sure what he was doing. "Anyway, I'll, erm, see you later."

"See you later, Liss."

"Do you think it'll ever stop being awkward?" Christian scowled when I shut the door.

I shrugged and perched on the edge of the bed, watching as Christian roamed around the room collecting the glasses, empty popcorn bag, and his clothes. "I don't know. Do you think you'll ever take her back?"

"I don't know. Why should I? I don't think I'd be able to trust her."

"Because you love her?" I suggested.

"Do I?" Christian inquired with a scowl. "She certainly can't love me."

But Lissa did love Christian. Or at least she thought she did, especially since this had happened. It had made her realise just how much she cared about him now that she didn't have him anymore. "She does."

"Right." Christian deadpanned. "Well I'm not sure I love her, so why would I bother trying to make it work when it's just going to make me miserable?"

"I was just curious. I'm not trying to make up your mind for you." I was sure that Christian _would_ still take her back, though. It had only been a week and a bit since he'd found out. Of course he wasn't going to get over it instantly, but he and Liss were practically perfect for each other. "Anyway, I'm going to shower, see if you can find me a hair dryer," I joked, leaving him to sit on the bed, looking very much like he needed to sleep, whilst I disappeared into the bathroom.

By the time we got to the courtroom, I was glad I looked so rough from drinking, because the worry about Victor spilling mine and Dimitri's secret covering my face could be blamed on a headache. I couldn't stop myself fidgeting and clenching my fists so hard that my nails dug painfully into my skin.

Lissa was practically shaking beside me. Christian was on my other side, but his face was composed. "It'll be fine," I tried to assure Liss again. "Look how much evidence we have against him."

"I know. I just don't want to see him again. You really do look ill, by the way," she slipped in the thing that had been bothering her, even though Victor would be walking through the door within moments. "How much did you drink?"

"Not that much." My job was to soothe her, even if it required lying. There was no need for her to get worked up over something insignificant right now. "It's probably more that I just couldn't sleep because I was worrying about the trial. Maybe I didn't wish Dimitri was here after all. I think he'd be pretty annoyed at me."

Liss raised a surprised eyebrow. "I didn't realise you wanted him here in the first place."

"He's good in these situations." I wished I hadn't mentioned him. "He always knows how to calm everyone down." Especially me. And right now, I needed it. Because I felt sure I was going to snap when I saw Victor's smug face. "And I couldn't find any extra bedding." I supplied for Lissa, who couldn't quite stop thinking about the fact I'd shared a bed with Christian.

"Oh, right," she acknowledged. "Eddie went and asked for some."

"I didn't even think," I apologised, though really there was nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't like anything had _really _happened. We'd just been drunk, that was all. And this morning had just been nice, and friendly, nothing else.

Lissa didn't have time to say anything more, though, because Victor had appeared behind his stand and I found that my fists clenched so hard it was a good job my nails had been ruined through training. "It's okay." Liss had to calm me down this time and I let out a deep breath, reminding myself of what I'd been telling her the whole time.

The lawyer going against him seemed confident and really there was no reason he shouldn't be as he brought up the sensitive topics of Natalie and Lissa's torture. When it was my turn, I actually felt a lot more nervous than I'd anticipated as I swore the oath then lied blatantly about the lust charm. Victor's aura of smugness unnerved me and I could see it in his expression as I glistened over the incident between Dimitri and I that he couldn't wait to tell the courtroom exactly what had happened.

Christian's part was short and he didn't falter, though he also didn't look very impressed at being so close to Victor. Liss's speech was beautiful and I wasn't sure if that was due to me being biased, her spirit induced charisma, or just her. Whatever the reason, it was hard to imagine that anyone could not think Victor a monster afterwards.

Then it was time for Victor to be questioned by his own lawyer. I had to wonder where he'd found someone to even represent him. "Is it true that you took the princess from the Academy?" His lawyer inquired, though I was paying more attention to Victor than her and my whole body was tense as he nodded.

"Yes."

"And that you tortured her until she was forced to use her abilities to heal you?"

Victor frowned. "Of course not. The princess agreed to help me as soon as I explained the situation to her."

My eyes widened. He surely wasn't even going to attempt to plead complete innocence here. How could he? "I see." Even the lawyer looked smug. I wondered if she was some kind of relative to Victor. "And how about Rose and Guardian Belikov, they had no say in what you made them do?"

This was where Victor's grin looked almost demonic. I froze. This was it. I felt sure he'd paid his lawyer to ask this exact question just so he had the opportunity to ruin me. "Well, that's a matter of opinion. I honestly don't think they minded. But if you have time after this case, your Honour, you might want to consider a statutory rape case."

My face paled but I managed to keep my expression composed, even when I saw Adrian glance at me in surprise. Thankfully, though, Lissa's dismissal that he was just making up stories to get the attention away from himself made me realise that no one had actually believed him.

Still, that was only one thing dodged. There was still the issue of his sentencing. Which was coming up soon. It felt odd only having one judge, rather than a jury, which was what I was used to from all the human law programs I'd found myself enjoying whilst living in Portland.

After Victor had retaken his seat inside the wooden box at the front of the room, the judge stood up, ready to make her decision.

I found myself leaning forwards slightly in my seat as I waited for her to speak. "After listening to all the evidence, I don't think we can prove that Victor forced Vasilisa to heal her and therefore it would be unfair to find him completely guilty. I find Victor guilty to the charges of kidnapping, but not of torture or forcing Vasilisa to use her magic. This includes the removal of his title and a fine, but no imprisonment."


	6. Chapter 6

_So in the time I spent rereading the chapter before uploading them I got the inspiration to write this chapter and I've actually managed to write it in one day, which is pretty impressive for me. I normally procrastinate far too much! Anyway, thanks a lot to all the people who reviewed again, it really did make my day! Hope this chapter is okaaaaay._

* * *

_Chapter Six_

It was only Christian's hand encircling my wrist with all his strength that stopped me jumping up and striding over to the judge's seat. Was she serious? Could she _really _not believe what we'd said? It was so obvious she'd been bribed by Victor that I wanted to scream for a mistrial. There was no way she could have genuinely found him innocent of forcing Liss to heal him.

Lissa was panic-stricken and it took all I had to calm my anger and wrap a comforting arm around her shoulder as Victor was led away, presumably to collect the things from his cell before he was released.

And that made me start shaking with anger again. All five of us were completely shocked into silence and I felt sure we sat with the same expression for at least five minutes before any of us moved. It was Christian that broke the silence. "She had to have been bribed, or something," he voiced my exact thoughts.

Liss was just sitting with a steady stream of tears running down her face. Seeing Victor Dashkov had been bad enough, but the possibility that she would see him _again_, outside of a secure environment, was almost too much for her to handle. "It's okay, Liss," I soothed as believably as I could, but my anger made my voice clipped and the hand that wasn't surrounding Liss was clenched into a fist.

"We should get out of the courtroom," Adrian stood up. "There's no point continuing to sit in here."

I wasn't sure I could stand up, but when we filtered out of the room, I understood that I was basically working on autopilot. I just needed to make sure Lissa was calm. That was what I needed to focus on, because otherwise no one would be able to stop me going and finding Victor Dashkov and doing something completely reckless.

Christian ended up walking with Lissa and Eddie at the front and he was probably right in thinking he'd do a better job of making Liss feel better. Which left Adrian and me to lag behind a bit.

"Are you okay, little Dhampir?" He inquired in a soft tone. "You're looking particularly black." I wished I could see what everyone else's auras looked like right now. I supposed Adrian and Eddie hadn't been involved in what Victor Dashkov had done, but both Liss and I had basically endured her torture first hand. The fact that he was let loose, considering his mental state, was unbelievable.

And it was scary.

"No. I'm not okay. This is ridiculous, that he's been allowed to get away with this."

"Not only that, but he said some, erm, pretty suggestive things in there." Adrian reminded with a slightly awkward scratch to the head. As the only one who knew about mine and Dimitri's relationship, Adrian was the only person who'd noticed any change in my behaviour. I was grateful that he'd made the effort to give me one-armed hugs and nice little gestures to make sure I was fairing up all right. We hadn't spoken much since the Lissa and Christian incident, though.

"No one believed him," I dismissed in low tones. "So it doesn't matter. What does is making sure Liss is completely safe and hopefully finding some way of reversing this stupid judgment."

"Right," Adrian agreed. "I'll speak to my great-Aunt and see if there's any strings I can pull." I glanced at him curiously and Adrian looked like he would have smirked had it not been for the situation. "The Queen."

My eyes widened. Of course. Adrian was an Ivashkov. The Queen was an Ivashkov. I hadn't quite expected them to be this closely related, though. "Thanks," I finally managed to respond. That could actually be really useful. I was sure that the Queen had enough power to overrule this obviously bribed judge and she wanted to protect Lissa. "That'd be really good."

"Erm, Rose, I know this isn't the time, but I wanted to apologise, for what I did. It was awful and I regret it. I know it's selfish, but I mainly regret it because it means I've ruined any chance I had with you."

I gave him the biggest smile I could manage right now. "It's not a big deal, Adrian," I assured him, both of us still speaking quietly. "I'm not ready for a relationship right now and you know it, but honestly, this hasn't made me think any worse of you. It hasn't ruined any chance you would have, I promise." Maybe it would have been better to expand on that and let him know that my feelings would probably never extend to him romantically anyway, but he looked so down I couldn't bring myself to. I was telling the truth, anyway, and maybe one day I'd get over Dimitri and develop feelings for Adrian.

When we arrived at Eddie and Lissa's room, Christian followed her in, which I assumed meant we were staying. Now that I paid attention to their interactions, Christian looked incredibly clunky in the way he was hugging her. He seemed awkward. But Lissa didn't notice, because for once she couldn't fully appreciate that Christian was this close to her. She just wanted Victor to be back in jail.

I perched on the edge of the bed on the other side of Liss. "Nothing is going to happen to you, Liss," I told her, conveying much more confidence than any of us felt. "Victor's a suspect now. There's no way he could even get close to the Academy anymore and certainly not court. And he doesn't have Natalie anymore, so how would be possibly get to you?" I reasoned.

"Rose is right," Christian chimed in. "There's absolutely nothing Victor could do to even get close to you, never mind lay a finger on you. You're completely safe, Liss."

Even Adrian was nodding. "Everyone recognises him. And the Academy will certainly do everything they can to make sure nothing happens to you." What happened after we graduated, I had no idea.

After we'd all made our best efforts to convince her that nothing would happen, Liss finally allowed herself to stop crying. "I guess you're right," she agreed, though I certainly didn't feel like I was that confident in my analysis. This was Victor we were talking about. He was insane. If anyone could find a way, he could. "I think I need to have a nap, or something. I feel like I might throw up, or something," she mumbled the last bit and I checked the bond. Liss was just mentally exhausted.

I understood it was our cue to leave. "Of course." From the way Christian was fidgeting, I was sure he was grateful to be getting out of here. "Let me know if you need anything later."

"You okay?" Christian checked as soon as the door had been shut and Adrian had headed off in the other direction, hopefully to go and consult with the Queen.

"Do you want the truth, or do you need me to lie to you as well?"

"I wouldn't have believed you if you'd lied anyway," Christian muttered, fishing around for the keys and unlocking the door to our room. "What happens now, then? What do you want to do?"

"There's nothing we can do," I admitted, collapsing onto the bed without bothering to even remove my shoes. "Adrian's going to talk to the Queen and try and get the decision reversed, but I'm not even close to optimistic anymore. I guess we just be on high alert for the rest of our fucking lives in case Victor decides to do something crazy again."

I felt the bed dip as Christian laid down beside me. "I suppose," he admitted. "But you know it's different now, really. You were right in what you were saying. I mean, not only do we know about it now, but you're a far better guardian than you were."

"But what if I'm not good enough?" I retaliated immediately. "I'm not _that _good, Christian."

"Oh come on, Rose. Don't sell yourself short. You killed two Strigoi without a stake. If that's not good, then I don't know what is."

Sighing, I didn't see the point in arguing. Instead I just made a non-committal noise. "Can we go and get some more vodka?" I dead panned, scowling at the wall.

To my surprise, Christian actually laughed. "This is so messed up. As if they can actually call it a justice system."

I would have responded, but a sudden wave of anger snapped me out of my own consciousness and into Lissa's. Eddie was watching warily from the bed as she paced up and down. "I have _do_ something." Liss stated, her voice colder than I could ever remember. "I can't let him get away with this. I'm going to go and get someone to fix it," she decided, coming to a standstill. "I have the ability to get whatever I want."

I panicked. If Lissa used her compulsion for something this big she was bound to be found out. It was illegal to use the magic on Moroi. She'd end up with a punishment like Victor's. In all my wishing that Lissa would think about what she was doing, I barely noticed her sudden change of heart. Eddie looked absolutely relieved when she retook a seat on the bed and apologised for being silly.

Back in my own head, though, I was seething. How could Victor get away with this? It wasn't _fair_. Lissa shouldn't be put in danger like that. I sprang up from the bed with my fists clenched, completely forgetting Christian was even there until he questioned where I was going.

"I'm going to find Victor Dashkov, to knock some sense into him," I hissed, striding towards the door. There had to be something I could do to stop this and if there wasn't, I'd be perfectly tempted to just beat him to a pulp anyway. He deserved it.

"Hey, what? Wait!" Christian called as I reached the door. "You know that's not a good idea, Rose."

"I don't care," I snapped in return, though my hand was dragged away from the handle and Christian was watching me with a curious expression. "Let me go."

"Rose. Stop."

"How can you say that?" I demanded. "He's a monster, we can't just let him go. I don't care what I have to do to make sure he doesn't hurt Liss again." I wrenched my hand from Christian's grasp and returned my attention to the door.

Once again I didn't make it, though. This time Christian had gone all out, turning me round and shoving me against the door with all his weight, which was a surprising amount considering how thin he was. "Rose, you're not thinking straight," he told me, staring down at me, his face set. "Calm down."

I struggled against him to no avail. "Move," I ordered. "Let me go and stop that madman."

Christian didn't even seem to be listening to me. "What's got into you all of a sudden? Think about what you're saying. You could go to jail if you do something stupid. Then what would happen to Lissa? Just take a deep breath, or something."

I tried to take his advice, but it was so hard when I was this angry. I was practically shaking and my fingers were white from being clenched into a fist for so long. Christian didn't even falter in holding me against the door, though, so eventually my rage dissipated into a feeling of despair.

My head slumped against Christian's shoulder and I let out a heavy sigh. "Sorry," I murmured softly. "I don't know what happened. I was fine, and then I got pulled into Liss's head and she was so _angry _and then I was angry." Checking the bond momentarily, I realised that Lissa was fine now. She'd even gone to sleep.

"It's okay," Christian soothed, removing his hands from where I hadn't even noticed they'd been gripping my arms. "At least you didn't do anything stupid."

"But what if I do something stupid next time? I don't even know what happened," I argued, still not having the energy to remove my head from Christian's chest.

"You have a right to be angry, Rose. The man who tortured your best friend was just set free. I was actually surprised at how calm you were up until now."

I frowned and finally pulled back, searching his face to see whether he was being honest or not. "I suppose. It was just strange. Like I sucked the anger out of Liss. I guess it was just coincidence, or something. Feeling her anger reminded me that I wanted to be angry," I dismissed. "Maybe I need to sleep, too."

Christian chuckled and we moved away from each other completely. It was only now that I realised every inch of our bodies had been pressed together. It was surprisingly cold when I walked away to fetch my pyjamas. I supposed that proved how much I was missing Dimitri.

I didn't even question it when Christian and I woke up in a tangle of limbs the next morning, though.


	7. Chapter 7

_Next chapter, going back more to the original story-line of 'Christian and Rose' for the next few chapters :D Thanks __**so **__much for all the people who reviewed the other chapters again, exams will be finished in two weeks now and then lots of summer to write in!_

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_Chapter Seven_

Back at the Academy, it still hadn't quite sunk in what had happened. Liss was up and down to the extreme in her moods. Something would make her happy, talking to Eddie, or someone else in her class, but within half an hour either Christian or Victor had popped back into her mind, and she'd be down in the dumps again. Which meant I was also having horrendous mood swings. It was no wonder Christian looked wary every time he spoke to me. There was no way of knowing whether I'd snap back at him or not.

"I think I'm going to ring Tasha and tell her what happened," he informed me a couple of days after we'd returned. "She'd want to know."

I frowned. And that meant Dimitri would have to know. "Erm, Christian," I began, contemplating how I was supposed to ask this. "Would you mind if I told Dimitri first? I just, I don't know, I feel like I should probably be the one to tell him. He's going to be really angry."

"I don't see why not," Christian shrugged. "I can't really imagine Belikov angry, though."

I made myself chuckle and tried desperately not to ring my hands together considering just how awkward this was going to be. Plus, as hard as it was to believe, Dimitri would be _mad _about this. Really mad. That was why I figured I should be the one to let him know.

"Here you go." Christian passed me the phone and I realised with a panic that it was already ringing. I hadn't had enough time to think about what I was going to say at all.

"Hello?" I recognised Tasha's cheery voice. It must have been the house that Christian had rung.

"Oh, erm, hi Tasha," I greeted uncomfortably. Just as much as I was angry at Dimitri about the situation, I couldn't really hold back my resentment towards Tasha, either, though really it wasn't her fault at all. "Is Dimitri around? I really need to talk to him about something."

"Of course." She must have moved her head away from the receiver because it was mumbled when she next spoke. "Here you go."

"Rose?" Dimitri's familiar voice filled my ears. I almost stumbled over my response, forgetting for a minute just how sexy his Russian accent was. "What's wrong?"

"Hey, Comrade," I sighed. "We went to Victor Dashkov's trial a couple of days ago." I explained, though he had probably worked out exactly what had happened just from that statement and my tone of voice. "He was set free."

Dimitri didn't say anything for several minutes, though I heard a door slamming so I supposed he'd gone outside to pace. "You're kidding, right? _How?_ There should have been so much evidence against him."

"He must have bribed the judge, it's the only think we could think of."

"That's revolting. Is there nothing you could have done?"

"Not really. Adrian tried talking to the Queen, since apparently they're related, but he said she couldn't just revert what the judge had said. So no, other than me going and sorting him out myself."

"I'm kind of surprised you didn't."

I allowed myself a wry smile. "Me too," I agreed. "But anyway, I just thought I should tell you since Christian was going to tell Tasha, but I didn't want you to be really angry."

"I am really angry," he assured me with what I imagined was a grimace.

"Yeah, I know. I just thought it might be better coming from me."

"It was, thanks, Rose." Then, he paused. "The princess is in danger now. I should probably come back to the Academy."

My eyes widened. What was I supposed to say to that? What I really wanted to do was be selfish and agree that he definitely should. But it wouldn't work. It would always cause more pain the long run, which was what we'd both come to realise. "No you shouldn't," I decided. "Liss will be fine. Have you forgotten how badass I am already?"

"Rose, it was wrong of me to stop guarding the princess because of... personal reasons in the first place. Now that she's in danger-"

"She's not in danger," I cut him off. "Think about it, Dimitri. She's in the Academy, which Victor can't just stroll about in like he used to. He doesn't have anyone here after what happened to Natalie. And when she graduates she'll get another guardian, or two. There's no point in you moving back for a few months. Besides, I'd tell you if anything started happening again. You know that I would." It was unlikely that Victor would just make a straightforward attack. He liked playing games. "And as much as we joke about it, I'm pretty strong now. And so is Eddie and Christian and we're all looking out for her, so it'll be fine."

I was struggling to sound even remotely confident it what I was saying, but for some reason, Dimitri bought it. Perhaps it was just because he knew it was coming back was the wrong thing to do in terms of our relationship. When it came down to Liss, it was unlikely that adding one extra guardian would accomplish much. If anything, it provided a weakness, since Victor knew about our feelings.

"I guess you're right. How are you, by the way? I can't imagine you've taken the news well. You got Lissa for the field experience, right?"

"I'm fine," I lied through my teeth. There was no point in worrying Dimitri, though he could probably tell I wasn't being honest anyway. "And no, I got Christian."

"Oh, you didn't make too much of a fuss, did you?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I didn't even say anything to Alberta, actually. You must have had more influence than I thought." I didn't bother to say that actually it had partly been due to a lack of effort to go and speak to her and partly due to my annoyance at Lissa with the situation with her and Christian.

Dimitri chuckled and pain blossomed in my chest. Talking to him had just made it even harder, made me realise how much I wasn't used to this not being normal anymore. Going from spending almost all my time with Dimitri to none was unbelievably hard. Especially since I knew he'd gone from spending it with me to being with Tasha all the time. "I miss you, Dimitri," I admitted, not really caring that Christian was listening. There was no reason Dimitri and I shouldn't be friends.

"I miss you too, Roza." My lips quirked into a tiny smile. I might never even hear him say my name like that again, if Christian and Lissa really did never get back together. "I should probably go, Christian wants to talk to Tasha, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "I'll give him the phone back now. I'll see you, erm, maybe at some point, I guess." I didn't bother to hide the grimness in my tone.

"Promise you'll tell me if anything happens."

"I promise."

"Goodbye, Rose."

"See you."

I handed the phone back to Christian, who had been listening to our conversation curiously, and lied down on the bed, not really hearing anything he was saying. Talking to Dimitri again had been a tough reminder and I knew there wouldn't be many happy patches the next few days, especially not whilst Lissa was so down in the dumps, too.

* * *

Eddie and I were equally as confused as to why Alberta had called a seemingly impromptu meeting in the gym. We certainly couldn't think of anything that would require leaving our Moroi alone for a whole lesson – I didn't remember anything like this happening the previous field experiences.

"I hope it's not something about Victor," I told Eddie with a frown. "You would have thought Alberta would have mentioned this to me before, if it was."

"I doubt it. I think this is just something to do with the field experience. Maybe they're adding in an extra section or something this year."

"Yeah, maybe," I agreed, becoming quickly distracted by Alberta, who'd just appeared at the front of the gym. Everyone fell deadly silent almost instantly. We were all as curious as each other.

"This year, we're going to be adding something different into the field experience." Eddie gave me a smug look, to which I rolled my eyes. "There's been some unfortunate timing and the spring break this year would cut the field experience a week short, so, for Moroi whose families agree, you will be going with your Moroi if they choose to leave campus."

There were mixed reactions on the faces around the room and it was extremely hard for me to maintain a neutral expression. Christian would be going to visit Tasha, there was almost no doubt about it. And that meant I was going to see Tasha. Which meant Dimitri. Talking to him on the phone was hard enough, but spending a whole weekend around him? I had no idea how that was going to go.

I was just torn between being incredibly excited to see Dimitri again and terrified as to how it would be. I didn't even know if Tasha and Dimitri were actually together. Of course I was assuming they were, which would be beyond difficult.

"I'm guessing I'll be staying here, then." Eddie commented. "I think I'm kind of glad. Will you be going anywhere?"

Dragged out of my thoughts, I resisted the urge to play with my hair as a nervous habit. "I'm guessing Christian will be going to Tasha's and there's no reason she wouldn't want me to go." Unless she knew about Dimitri and I, but even then I doubted she'd actually stop me from coming.

Maybe Christian could pretend that I hadn't been allowed to go so I could just stay here.

"Oh, that'll be pretty cool though, you liked Tasha, right? And Guardian Belikov will be there."

He just to rub it in, didn't he? "Yeah, Dimitri will be there. I just don't really like the idea of leaving Lissa at the Academy by herself with Victor loose." Though that hadn't been my immediate concern, now I came to think about it, it was a fairly horrifying thought. "Not that I'm trying to say I don't trust you, I just mean it's Victor and he's fairly relentless. If he was going to make a move on her, it'd be more likely to be successful if I wasn't here."

I was glad that Eddie didn't look offended. "It's okay, I understand."

"I'm going to go and talk to Alberta, after she's finished," I decided. Perhaps I would get out of this for a different reason. After she finalised all the details about how this would work, especially if we already had plans for spring break, which of course I didn't, I reluctantly approached the front as everyone else filed out.

I wasn't optimistic. "Hey, Guardian Petrov." She already knew what I was going to ask, I was sure, but maybe the fact I hadn't been a bitch about the field experience would work in my favour now.

"I know what you're going to say, Rose, but I really can't make an exception just for you." For once, she sounded genuinely apologetic.

"It's just because of Lissa with Victor being loose," I pleaded. "I just worry about her. I just want to keep her safe."

"I'll make sure no one gets to her, Rose," Alberta promised. "I'll make sure someone's around her all the time, not just Eddie, and you can ring the Academy if anything happens and we can get right on it and you can fly back immediately. You are going to Tasha Ozera's, right?"

I scowled. I was too worked up to hide it. "Yes." Maybe I could get some of it out and not let Christian know how much I didn't want to go.

"Look, Rose, I understand that you have some personal issues with going to Tasha's house, but that's just the way being a guardian works. You have to be professional."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You knew," I accused, not completely giving away what, just in case she didn't _actually _know and I was reading into something.

She scratched the back of her head guiltily. "Yes, I knew."

"Why didn't you stop it? It's against the rules."

I was gobsmacked, but I thought I was doing fairly well at not looking like a complete idiot with my reaction. Alberta gave me a wry smile. "I'm not really sure. I didn't think it was my place. Dimitri's not the kind of person who would get into that situation lightly. I guess the fact he moved proved that," then she realised what she'd said. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, you're right. Dimitri and I wouldn't have ever worked anyway, it was for the best."

She sighed. "I wouldn't make you if I had a choice, but it's not just my decision and obviously I can't give a reasonable explanation to the other guardians. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." It really wasn't Alberta's fault and it was only a week. "Christian will be miserable too, so at least he probably won't notice my mood." She raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "He broke up with Lissa." I wasn't sure why I was telling Alberta this. Maybe she was more into the school's gossip than I'd anticipated. I supposed there wasn't much else to be doing all day. "She cheated on him with Adrian."

Alberta looked genuinely surprised. "Oh. I gave you Christian in the field experience partly because you'd still get to be around Vasilisa a lot. I suppose that didn't work out so well."

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Christian's fine." It was bit too much to admit how much Christian had unknowingly managed to keep my mind off Dimitri and, more recently, Victor. "I started training him," I blurted. "I wasn't going to say anything, in case it was disallowed or something. Am I all right to do that, or will I get into some kind of serious trouble if Kirova finds out?"

"It'll be fine. I'll not mention it to her, but if she finds out you won't get into trouble, I'll just say I allowed it."

"Okay," I grinned. "Thanks. It's pretty cool, anyway, Christian picks stuff up really quickly."

"That's good. If it works out well then maybe it'll be a good example for debates in the future." That really would be awesome. From how Christian was going, I was beginning to wonder why it wasn't more common – he was hardly bad at any of the techniques I showed him, though I supposed his offensive magic training might have something to do with that. "You should probably get going, though. Lessons are nearly over. I'm sorry again about the spring break situation."

"It's fine. I'll manage."

I really hoped it wouldn't be as bad as I was expecting.


	8. Chapter 8

_New chapter! Exams finish next Wednesday and it turns out I probably won't be going to Germany since my boyfriend lost his passport Q.Q Means there should be lots of updates too! Original books are on my profile as always if anyone's interested!_

_Thanks soooooooooooo much for the reviews, they mean a lot :'D_

* * *

_Chapter Eight_

"Rose, are you okay?"

"What?" My eyes left the book that I hadn't even been attempting to read. It had just been in my hands so that it looked like I was doing something other than dreading our trip to Tasha's, even though it wasn't for another two weeks yet.

"I said, are you-"

"I heard you," I interrupted. "And I'm fine. Why?"

"You just seem... distracted, recently," Christian commented, having closed the book on culinary science he'd been reading to study my expression instead. "I'm fairly sure you haven't turned a page of that book for about half an hour."

I held down a flush at my stupid mistake. "I was just with Lissa," I lied, hoping the mention of her name was enough to stop his questioning.

"You also haven't eaten a proper meal for the past week. And I'm surprised the punch bag hasn't split from how much you've been going at it," he continued his reasoning with a frown.

"I'm just worried about leaving Liss alone at the academy when Victor is on the loose," I lied again, knowing that my arguments were good ones. There was no reason Christian shouldn't believe me.

Somehow, he was still sceptical, though. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Rose, was there any truth behind what Victor said at the trial?" I knew instantly that he was referring to the part about Dimitri, but contemplated whether I should even play dumb about that.

"Of course not." If I pretended not to know what he meant then it would make me look guilty, I decided. "I'm just worried about Lissa."

"You can just tell me," he continued to push. "It's not like I'm going to judge, or anything. And you know all of my problems, anyway."

"There's nothing to tell, Christian," I retorted, suddenly feeling very tired. I'd much rather go to sleep than be having this conversation.

"I don't believe you. Especially not having listened to you speak to him on the phone. You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but I might be inclined to try and let you stay here if you told me..." He trailed off, hoping his bargain would be effective.

I rolled my eyes. "You'd have no chance. I already asked Alberta plenty of times and she said there was nothing I could do to get out of it."

Christian's eyes widened considerably. "So there really was something going on?"

I grimaced. "You just told me you knew there was."

"I was only guessing. I wasn't one hundred percent sure. You've got to tell me now, though."

Sighing, I brought my knees up to my chest. "Do I have to? It's not a very fun story."

"Please?"

"Fine," I conceded, but only because I knew he was never going to drop it otherwise. Christian was far too stubborn for that. May as well get it over and done with. "So Dimitri and I liked each other and it was never going to work so he went to live with Tasha. That's basically it."

"That's no 'it'," Christian denied immediately. "There's no juicy details there."

"What more do you want? It's hardly exciting."

"How did it start?"

"Just in training. We just got along really well. There was just attraction there." I tried to not sound completely stupid. "Just little moments, I guess."

"Were you properly together?" He inquired, looking completely absorbed in my story. At least he was getting something out of this whilst I tried desperately not to show how much talking about this hurt. I didn't want to look completely weak.

"No. Dimitri always said we couldn't be together because if he let himself love me he'd throw himself in front of Lissa instead of me." I recited the quote that was practically burned into my mind.

"Wow, I never thought of it like that. That's pretty rough. You were really serious about each other, then?"

"Yes."

"Why did he leave to guard my Aunt?"

"Because otherwise we'd have just kept making those stupid mistakes and it wouldn't have worked when it came to guarding Liss. Plus he likes your Aunt," I added bitterly.

"Really?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yes? Why else would I say it?"

"Right, sorry," he muttered. "How did Victor find out?"

"I'm not really sure. I think he just noticed. Then the 'attack' charm he put on us was actually a lust charm." I flinched at that, both because of Victor's freedom and the memory of Dimitri and I being so passionate with each other.

"Wow. It's a good job no one believed him."

I made a non-committal noise. "Are you done now?"

Christian had the decency to look guilty. "I wouldn't have asked if I knew it was this serious. I thought you really were mostly worked up because of leaving Liss behind."

I shrugged and glanced away. "It doesn't matter. Feels kind of nice to tell someone, anyway."

"No one has any idea about all this? Not even Liss."

I laughed bitterly. "I'm fairly sure Lissa would have given in and told you if she knew. But no, only Adrian."

"Adrian?"

"He overheard us talking at the ski resort about something."

There was a long pause now and I really hoped that meant Christian was done wanting to talk about it, because I was definitely ready to turn the lights off so I could pretend to sleep instead of trying to maintain a steady expression. "I'm sorry you have to come to Aunt Tasha's."

"It's not a big deal. It doesn't matter. It's only for a week."

"I don't know, Rose, I've never seen you so miserable before."

I scowled. "Well what are you suggesting? What brilliant solution are you planning on proposing instead?"

"I guess we'll just have to mope about our failed love lives together." I'd almost forgotten about the whole Christian and Lissa situation whilst talking about my own. Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh.

I made myself chuckle. "Yeah," I agreed half-heartedly. "Have you decided what you're going to do about Lissa yet?" I inquired, deciding I might as well push him for some details now that he'd got everything he wanted about Dimitri. "She's going to want some kind of final decision about whether you're going to break up with her or not."

"I thought we were already broken up."

"I think I might have given her false hope when I was trying to cheer her up the day after, then." I admitted with a frown. I was still convinced that Christian would still go back to her.

"What did you say?"

"Just that when you told her you didn't want to see her you said 'right now'. I assumed that meant you were going to think about it."

"It's not that I haven't thought about it," Christian explained, running a hand through his thick black hair. "I've just come to the decision that I don't want to risk that again. What's the point when she might just cheat on me again?"

"Does that just apply to Lissa? Or are you going to be paranoid about every girl you ever get with now?" I had to ask, because it certainly sounded like this was going to mess up his opinion on relationships in the long term from the way he was speaking. Then again, I wasn't exactly optimistic that I'd ever find anyone even close to Dimitri ever again.

Christian rolled his eyes. "It's not like I'm going to be 'getting with' anyone any time soon." He pointed out. "So who knows? All I know is that I'm not being with Lissa again."

"This is so depressing," I muttered. "I'm going to sleep."

"Wait, wait, I haven't finished talking yet," Christian complained. "I'm not tired."

I attempted to raise an eyebrow and failed. "You want to continue talking about your problems with Liss?"

"I'd rather talk about you and Belikov. It's so weird."

I scowled. "Well I'd rather not talk about it." Then a thought popped into my mind. "Actually, do you know if Dimitri and Tasha are together or not?"

Christian hesitated long enough for me to know the answer. "I think they are, but, I might be wrong, um-"

"It's okay, I don't care." I ground out bitterly, my eyes stinging. "But I'm definitely going to sleep now."

"Wait, come here," Christian instructed, sounding particularly guilty now and patting the seat beside him on the bed.

Sighing, I shook my head. "I can't be bothered with this shit."

"Just come here," he insisted, staring me down until I gave in, finally shutting my book and removing my own covers to slip into Christian's bed, sitting awkwardly on my own half and staring at my knees, which I hugged to my chest. He scowled at my awkward position. "How am I supposed to give you some kind of comforting hug if you sit like that?"

"I don't want a comforting hug," I complained. "I want to go to sleep."

"Oh come on," Christian argued. "I'm fairly sure my comforting hugs will make everything better."

"I'm fairly sure all it's going to do is make me cry, and nobody wants that," I countered immediately, already struggling to stop my voice breaking. Though I'd already spend an agonising amount of time imagining Dimitri and Tasha together, now it had been confirmed it was definitely ten times worse.

Christian chose to grunt in response and unwrapped my arms from my legs, effectively dragging me into his side and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I was tempted to cling to his t-shirt and sob into it, but I just about resisted. "It's okay, Rose. It's not the end of the world, just like what Lissa did isn't. It just seems really rubbish now."

"It wouldn't seem as rubbish if I wasn't going to have to watch them all over each other for a full week," I grumbled, though really I knew Dimitri would be incredibly awkward with the situation and would probably just try and avoid being around me as much as possible.

"It's pretty grim, I know," Christian agreed. "I'm sure I'll find something to distract you with."

I snorted at the dirty connotations I was sure were unintentional. "I should hope not."

Christian's cheeks tinged pink. "You know that's not what I meant."

I couldn't stop my grin. "Well I've figured out what cheers me up, anyway. We're going to have to find more ways to embarrass you."

Christian let out a groan. "How did this backfire on me? I was just trying to be nice."

"It's okay, it worked." I forced my mind not to resort back to images of Dimitri and Tasha. "And I think you are slightly happier too, so you're not allowed to complain."

Christian's hands began drumming absentmindedly on my arm. "Thanks for training me Rose. It's actually pretty cool. Do you think we can keep doing it after the field experience?"

"Sure. It's more fun than training on my own, for definite."

"I'll talk to Liss tomorrow and make sure she knows what's going on," Christian promised. "I don't want to lead her on or anything. It's going to be so awkward though. She's going to cry and stuff, isn't she?"

"She's also going to be pretty annoyed that I'm not allowed to stay and sit with her. It's hard to decide whether I feel sorry for her or irritated."

"Even I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for her," Christian admitted. "But I'm mainly just confused. I mean, I'm so _angry _whenever I think about what she did. Especially because she can't even give a reason. She just 'did' it. So what, how _am _I supposed to trust anyone ever again, if it just happens whenever the situation arises?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "I mean, I know Dimitri and I were never really together, but I never had the urge to kiss Adrian even when he threw himself at me over and over again. I think that was just Liss." I attempted to reassure him.

"I'm sure I'll have gotten over it by the time I find someone else who's even willing to talk to me."

I frowned. What was I supposed to say to that? I wasn't even sure I could really hug him more from the position I was in. "I'm fairly sure you have no need to worry about people not liking you," I finally settled on. "Especially after we graduate."

Christian gave me a flat look. "What makes you think that?"

I held down a flush. There was absolutely no way I was telling Christian that I thought he was attractive. That was beyond my limits of comforting. "I'm not saying it." I refused.

Christian beamed at me. "It's okay, I know what you were thinking, which is good enough."

I held down a grimace. "I'm really going to sleep now." We were both in better moods and I really was exhausted, especially since we were waking up early to train. I was faced with the sudden dilemma of whether I was supposed to get back onto the floor or stay in the bed.

Christian didn't help my decision by simply agreeing that he was tired as well. What finally decided it was how comfy I was. I moved out of Christian's arm and chose to lie down on my own half, gesturing for Christian to turn the light off. He didn't look at all surprised by my actions, so I was glad I hadn't embarrassed myself.

I just really hoped that was the last heart-to-heart I'd be having for a while. They were far too draining.


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm so tired. Just finished writing this at like 2 in the morning here and though I've attempted to proofread it, there will inevitably be some mistakes. Still, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. I figured this was something I could add to the plot that pushed Rose and Christian closer together without it being unrealistic. It's also something that I didn't focus on in 'Something More' which is pretty nice, since I didn't really want to recycle anything._

_Big thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm definitely not going on holiday in the next few weeks now, so hopefully updates will be regular!_

_To Kelsey Monroe - thanks for the long review! Reading them always makes me happy and I'm glad you liked the story so much. Though there probably won't be a Christian POV in the next few chapters, I can think of a point in the story that it would be pretty good for, so I'll try it out for that! It would probably be in about ~4 chapters._

_Also, I haven't read the books in so long that I probably make a few mistakes in terms of things happening that didn't happen exactly the same in the book etc. I normally try and look things up if I'm not sure, though. Just a quick apology for any embarrassing mistakes I make, though!_

* * *

_Chapter Nine_

"Please, Christian."

"What do you expect, Liss?" Eddie and I had slunk into a corner in the hopes we'd fade into the background. The field experience had just made the Christian and Lissa drama particularly awkward for us. "How can you expect me to just give you another chance and magically trust you again?"

"Please just think about it," she begged again, letting tears shamelessly track down her face. "I won't talk to you again for the rest of the field experience, but _please _consider taking me back. I love you so much."

Christian's resolve was visibly faltering, though I wasn't sure if that was because he was tempted to take Lissa back, or because he was considering just taking the offer and turning her down later as opposed to right now. "Fine, but don't get your hopes up," he warned. "I really don't think I'm going to be able to forgive this, Liss, I'm sorry."

Liss was filled with false hope already, though, which I'd known was inevitable as soon as he'd given in to her plea. "Okay." She attempted to sound as meek as possible, but her urge to smile was almost overwhelming. I realised that her drastic mood swings were practically out of control at this point and frowned.

"Rose, can we go now?" At least I hadn't been put in the situation where Liss was devastated and I had to leave her feeling guilty.

"Sure." I agreed, giving Liss a quick hug and a small smile before following Christian out of the room. "You okay?" I checked when we'd turned the corner and began heading back to the male dormitories. It was fairly late by this point and I was pretty sure beyond curfew already.

Christian let out a heavy sigh, like I'd expected. "I can't believe I let her talk me into that. I should have just kept on ignoring the situation."

"Do you think you will think about it? Do you think you might change your mind?" There was still a couple of weeks of the field experience left, including our trip to Tasha's; plenty of time for Christian to realise he was making a mistake.

"I don't know. I guess I can't tell, but it certainly doesn't feel like I will. I've got no inclination to go back to her right now."

I made a non-committal noise and was about to respond when Liss's plummeting mood snapped me away from my head and into hers. She was pacing stubbornly up and down the room with clenched fists whilst Eddie watched on warily from the bed.

"I hate this," she spat. I wasn't even sure if she was talking to Eddie at this point, but her voice shook from sudden rage. "I can't believe I've done this. I'm so _stupid_. I hate myself, Eddie." She was angry at herself, of course, for cheating on Christian. But she also couldn't help but be mad at Christian for refusing to take her back, too. Did he really not love her? Could he really not forgive something that was so obviously a mistake? She felt that she would have forgiven him, had the roles been reversed.

The rage that she directed inwards was what made me panic, though. If Liss was talking about hating herself, did that mean her depression was coming back? I willed for her to calm down. I prayed that she wouldn't do anything stupid like go and find that razor I knew she probably still had somewhere.

And yet again, it worked.

The blackness that clouded Liss's mind seeped away and instead filled me with its ugliness instead. It was the confirmation I needed that I really could take Lissa's bad mood away from her.

But at what cost?

Christian gently shaking my shoulders brought me back to my own head and away from a now calm Liss. All the rage that Liss had felt towards him I now had, though. My face contorted into an unattractive scowl and Christian immediately stepped back, knowing by now that my bad moods weren't to be messed with.

"What's wrong?" He inquired apprehensively. "Is Liss okay?"

My fists clenched automatically. "She pissed off at you for not taking her back." I growled, unable to stop the cold tone to my voice. "And she's pissed off at herself for being stupid." My eyebrows knitted closer together as I struggled to decide what exactly I wanted to do. I was tempted to pace myself, but something kept me stood still. I knew my knuckles were white from being balled up.

Christian was watching me worriedly. "Rose?"

"What do you want?" I snapped back.

"Calm down. It's fine. Liss is mad, not you. What are you even angry about?" He questioned me, his voice far softer than I ever remembered it being.

Reason wasn't exactly the best way to combat my anger, though. I didn't care that we were out past curfew as I raised my voice. "I don't know!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up and vaguely noticing that I'd actually cut myself where my nails had been digging into my palm. "I don't know, Christian. I'm just angry, okay? It doesn't matter why."

Christian looked completely conflicted as to what he was supposed to do. I was sure his most desired option was to just leave me here to get over my unjustified rage. Instead, he did the opposite and moved towards me.

I fixed him with a warning look. "What are you doing?" I demanded harshly, grimacing so hard I was probably going to end up with permanent wrinkles.

He ignored me, choosing to wrap his arms securely around me in a tight hug, forcing my arms around his neck so it wasn't ridiculously uncomfortable. One of my hands chose to grip his top mercilessly instead, whilst the other resisted grabbing his hair. "Calm down, Rose." He murmured, lips barely brushing against my ear. "It's okay."

It was hard to stop myself shaking and focus on the words of encouragement Christian was giving, uttered so softly into my hair. Eventually it worked, though, and I found my anger dissipating, replaced by tears springing to my eyes. "I don't understand," I finally whispered. "Why is this happening?"

Christian didn't unwrap his arms around me for a good couple more minutes, so thankfully I'd managed to stem my tears by then and I was fairly certain there was no evidence they'd been there in the first place. "I don't know, Rose. We should probably go back to my room now, though. It's fairly late."

I frowned. "Wait, can we go to the chapel? I have a question, for Father Andrew, I really hope he's still there."

Christian was mightily confused at this point. "Are you sure? It's late," he emphasised. "He probably won't be there."

"It's important," I assured him, barely managing to stop myself from shaking for different reasons as we headed in that direction, effectively avoiding any guardians. It was almost ridiculous at how poor the security was for keeping us in our beds.

I was absolutely relieved to see the lights on from inside the chapel. That meant there was a big chance Father Andrew was still in there. I took a quick breath in preparation before entering the small building, completely ignoring Christian's inquisitive and slightly worried expression.

"Rose! And Christian," he announced, surprised by our untimely arrival. "Is there something I can help you with? You know it's after curfew."

"I just have a quick question," I promised. "It's about St. Vladimir and Anna. We know what happened to St. Vladimir, he lived long and prosper, right? But what happened to Anna?"

Father Andrew pondered this for a moment. "Yes, St. Vladimir lived to old age and died peacefully, as far as I can tell from all the books I've read about it. Anna, on the other hand, didn't have such a nice ending."

Of course. This was exactly what I'd realised when I set my course for the church. Anna had the awful ending. It was only natural. "What happened?" I asked, despite completely dreading the answer.

"After the death of St. Vladimir, reports suggest that she becomes somewhat... unstable." It was the word he substituted for insane. "She committed suicide months after, which is, of course, a sin, but after spending so many years-"

"She went mad and killed herself," I clarified bluntly, cutting him off.

"Yes. I know you followed their story closely, it's a shame it ended this way."

I managed a tight smile. "It's fine. Thanks for the help. We'll go back to our rooms now."

"No problem," he assured us as I trudged out of the room, suddenly feeling incredibly heavy.

Christian was fixing me with an unreadable expression. "St. Vladimir and Anna were like you and Liss, right?" He checked unnecessarily. He already knew that they were.

"Yes."

He struggled over what he could possibly say next. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," I replied bluntly, attempting to keep my emotions somewhat in check.

It all made sense, really, though. That strange feeling I had of absorbing Liss's anger. It wasn't just her bad moods I took upon myself, it was the whole madness that she'd felt. What if I started being seriously depressed? Or if I started cutting myself the way she had? And I didn't even have Dimitri any more to notice or care.

Christian didn't say anything else and I realised he was just waiting until we got to his room before he attempted to make me feel better. When we got there, I stood awkwardly in the doorway, until Christian gestured for me to get into bed with him. We were both fully dressed still, but my mind was in complete disarray, so I didn't care.

"Rose, you're not going to go mad." He said it so resolutely that it was almost believable.

"How can you say that? You can see it. Look at what happened earlier. And at the trial. It's the same thing." My hands started to shake and Christian took them in his, holding tightly to prevent any movement and somehow give some reassurance. "What if I end up like Anna?" My eyes were large and watery as I looked up at Christian and he didn't manage to hide how devastated he looked for me.

"You're not going to end up like that," he affirmed once more. "You're strong, Rose. Nothing like that could ever happen to you."

It didn't make me feel better, though. Surely Anna had been strong, too, but some things were just inevitable. Things like this.

"Rose," Christian said my name sternly. "It's not going to happen," he repeated his sentiments once more. He was just in denial, though. Of course there was no denying that the evidence suggested it would definitely happen.

"You don't know that, though!" I exclaimed, tears gathering in the corners of my eye. "You can't possibly know that."

Christian released my hands, only to grip the top of my arms tightly, his fingers biting into my skin, as if it might be enough to make me believe him. "I know it," he murmured. "And anyway, you know that this is happening, so just tell Liss. Tell her and she'll stop."

This was where the dilemma was. "I can't do that," I confessed weakly. "Doing the magic makes her so happy. It's the only thing that's making her happy at the moment. I can't take that away from her. Telling her about this would only make her feel worse."

Christian's face darkened. "You can't just sacrifice yourself for her, Rose."

"That's the way it works," I snapped. "That's my job. She comes first. Always."

"Not this time," Christian denied firmly. "This isn't the same and you know it."

"Yes it is," I argued. "Even look at Anna and Vladimir. Look how amazing he was. He did all that brilliant stuff, because of Anna. This is the same. Lissa can be Queen. She can change things. I'm not going to stop that by taking anything away from her."

"_Rose_." Christian looked like he desperately wanted to argue this with me.

"It's none of your business, anyway." I retorted. "You wouldn't even know about this if it wasn't for the stupid field experience."

"You might also be in jail for murdering Victor Dashkov if it wasn't for this stupid field experience. I'm just looking out for you." He finally sighed. "I care, you know?"

I flushed slightly under his admission and his grip dropped from my arms, both of us leaning back against the headboard. I rested my head on his shoulder. "But you care more for Liss. You know I'm right in what I'm saying."

"No," he denied immediately. "I really don't. I think you should tell her. This is about more than being her guardian. It's not fair that you think you have to do this."

"It _is_ about more than being her guardian," I agreed. "It's about being her best friend, too. I'm just doing what's best for her. This is my purpose. This is the point of being shadow-kissed."

"This is an ugly side effect," he responded without hesitation. "It's stupid." His scowl deepened. "It's so stupid how you've been put in this situation."

I smiled weakly, a sole tear falling from the end of my nose. I was at an angle that Christian wouldn't notice it, though. "Well if you don't get back with Lissa then you probably won't be around to see me lose it, anyway," I half joked. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Don't say it so casually," he snapped, before flushing slightly. "Sorry. It's just weird. I don't want you to go mad. I don't want anything shitty like that to happen to you."

"Yeah, me neither," I agreed, my eyes slipped closed as I realised how tired I was. "But it's just the way it is. I think I'm going to sleep. I should probably go and put some pyjamas on."

Christian slipped out of the bed, so that I almost fell sideways at the sudden loss of his shoulder, and he threw me a clean shirt and pair of his boxers. "I don't think you're in a fit state to be moving anywhere. I'll turn around, I promise," he teased lightly, choosing to mess around with the few objects on his set of drawers whilst I nimbly swapped clothes.

"Okay, I'm done," I informed him, smiling slightly. "Thanks."

After turning the lights off, Christian and I laid together in the darkness on our respective sides of the bed.

"You totally just wanted to see me wearing your clothes." I remarked with a slight smirk after a couple of seconds of silence. It was too tempting to resist taunting him.

"You got me," Christian replied instantly. "If you get up and change in the morning before I've woken up I'll be disappointed."

I found myself laughing before my expression fell completely. I was laughing and _almost _flirting with Christian. That wasn't normal. That wasn't _okay_.

"Thanks, Christian," I murmured, surprised if he'd heard it when I realised how quiet it was. "Thank you for caring."

"I don't think it's a choice," he responded, voice soft too. "And you know that Liss and Adrian care too."

"I know," I admitted. "But you're the only one who knows everything." My voice caught slightly on that and I didn't bother to hold back my tears now that the light was off. As much as I knew it was the right thing to do, I was scared. I was completely terrified of this fate I'd suddenly become aware of. How was I supposed to just accept it like I knew was right?

Christian hesitantly pulled me towards him so that I was moved from laying on my back to being curled into his chest. His arms were secure and it did a surprising amount to making me feel better. It was hard not to feel safe when someone was apparently so set on protecting you. "Think about it. Spend the rest of the field experience deciding whether you tell Liss about this or not." He fired the same ultimatum he'd been faced with at me.

I bit my lip on the no I wanted to reply with. I was in the same conundrum. "Fine," I conceded. I now completely understood Christian's decision to simply go along with it to stop the questioning.

"Promise?"

"I promise," I vowed, though I think we both knew the answer I'd settle on, unfortunately.

Neither of us moved, apart from to tangle our legs together so that the position was more comfortable. My hands were gripping Christian's shirt and they occasionally brushed against his chest. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better."

Christian's chuckle reverberated through me. "I'm guessing it didn't work, then."

I smiled. "Actually, it did," I admitted. "It's nice knowing that you care." It had meant to come out teasing, but it was shockingly sincere.

"Of course I do." Christian weaved a hand through my hair and for a moment I really thought he was going to angle my face upwards so that we could kiss. The shocking thing was that I knew I would have let him – that I was almost disappointed he hadn't done.

That realisation made me bury my face into his chest. There was definitely no kissing that could be done from this position, though it was more intimate than we already were, our limbs tangled together and not an inch of space left between us. It was a good job it was so cold at the Academy, otherwise I would have been uncomfortably hot right now.

"Night, Rose," Christian murmured.

"Goodnight, Christian." I was forced to remove my face from his chest to breath and make my sentence coherent.

I wasn't expecting a gentle kiss to be pushed against my forehead. Goosebumps immediately sprung up across my flesh, but I swallowed down any stupid reaction I might have had, like to glance up in the semi-darkness and demand more than just that measly taster of Christian's lips.


	10. Chapter 10

_Wups, well this took far longer than I meant it to. I'm just so bad at these filler chapters D: And Liss/Rose interaction is really hard for me to write for some reason. Anyway, the next one should be quicker since we'll actually be at Tasha's! And then it's all action from then onwards ;)_

_To Kelsey Monroe, I will definitely be keeping the dream in! It was basically the pivotal moment of 'Christian and Rose' and I think I should at least keep that the same in this story too. I really intended on staying as close to the original with this, but it was so OOC with so many aspects that I kind of drifted away. I prefer the slow progression and the Victor section was necessary for the story to continue where 'Christian and Rose' left off. I definitely feel that the paranoia about the magic/madness/Liss's safety over Victor has replaced the issues Rose faced of Adrian cheating on her in 'Christian and Rose'; I think her emotional state is similar to the original story in this respect, so the dream is still incredibly important to move the story forwards, as well as their relationship - so it will definitely still be in! Thanks for the super long review, I love reading them! Definitely not pushy at all ;) Glad you like the story!_

_Thanks for all the reviews, I got __**so **__many last chapter, I'm glad you're all enjoying it and I promise I'll try and upload ASAP!_

* * *

_Chapter Ten_

"I can't believe you're going to be gone for a whole week," Liss pouted. We were sat on her bed, my arms outstretched so that she could tackle my horrendous nails with a file. "It's going to be weird. It's been hard enough only seeing you around the Academy and not being able to really talk."

"I know." Liss and I had always been so close - we hardly ever spent time apart, especially since leaving the Academy for Portland. We were forced into sticking by each other's sides every minute. "Hopefully it won't be as bad as I'm expecting." Though I said this as a joke, I was absolutely dreading the week ahead. Just the thought of being around Dimitri again made me feel a little bit ill, luckily Liss took it to mean spending all my time around Christian, who I was supposed to dislike.

"I guess at least I can start practising my magic again," Liss grinned, whilst I attempted to stop my face falling further. "It's been so weird not using it. I've missed it a lot."

I certainly hadn't. Since Liss had been avoiding Adrian and therefore avoiding spirit, my moods had calmed down a lot and I'd stopped focusing so hard on the fate of Anna and been able to panic about the trip to Tasha's more instead. Though marginal, I was sure going insane was a bit worse than seeing Dimitri. I slightly dreaded how my awful mood at Tasha's combined with spirit's nasty influence would go, though. "That's cool," I forced out a smile.

"Oh!" Liss exclaimed, momentarily dropping my hand to retrieve something from her bedside table. "I also got you a phone, so that we can still talk and stuff." I caught through the bond that she also thought it would help her out if anything bad started happening around the Academy since Victor's release, but this was a small reason. The biggest was that she just wanted to keep in touch.

I felt suddenly guilty for taking it off her. Though that odd moment between Christian and I clearly hadn't meant anything and there'd been nothing even close to a repeat of it in the week since it transpired, Liss's hope of getting back with Christian made me feel awful. Christian had made it clear that he wouldn't be getting back with her. I wondered how hard she'd be crushed when he made that clear.

I pondered whether the fact I'd ended up sleeping in Christian's bed three out of the past seven days meant anything or not. Just because we ended up in a tangled mess of limbs in our sleep and there was the occasional meeting of eyes in the morning that suggested there were urges for something more didn't mean anything was _actually _going on. We were both just particularly fragile right now.

"Thanks Liss," I beamed at her. Phones weren't really allowed at the Academy and we'd had our taken from us on our return from Portland, so it was oddly exciting to once again feel one in my hand, even if was for a bit of a rubbish reason.

"Has Christian said anything to me about you?" She inquired, like she'd been dying to all day. We'd been given the day before we left off so that we could spend time with our friends and packing our stuff up. "I know you're not exactly close, but I thought he might still talk about the whole thing, since there's not really anyone else."

I didn't have the heart to correct her and explain that actually Christian and I had developed a weird sort of friendship where we seemed to suddenly know everything about each other. It was comforting to have that with someone again after Dimitri had left, but Liss wouldn't understand because she had no clue about Dimitri.

"Not really. He doesn't like talking about it." That bit was true at least. I didn't want to ruin her week, though. I may as well wait until I got back from Tasha's so that I'd be able to stay with her when Christian confirmed he couldn't take her back.

If he did, that was. I still wasn't _entirely _convinced he was going to turn her down. And I was in two minds about it. Part of me wanted them to get back together – for Lissa, and so that he'd stick around when we graduated. The other part felt a bit ill at the thought his lips on hers.

"He must be missing me by now. I'm missing him like crazy. It's been so hard. Eddie's been really nice though." She admitted with a big grin. "I know that I was a complete bitch and that it must have hurt him a lot, but this is something you can get past when you love each other, right?" A flicker of doubt clouded her mind and I struggled to decide between encouragement and reality.

"I'm sure it is." It was probably true. The real question was whether Christian actually loved Lissa or not.

Liss didn't even realise how sceptical I had sounded. "Good. Eddie said he wasn't sure, but I think he was just preparing me for the worst. He's been pretty pessimistic about the whole thing." Maybe Eddie was doing the right thing - in fact, he definitely was. Lying to Liss couldn't really be classed as honourable. I couldn't bring myself to make Liss sad, though.

I couldn't help but smile slightly when I saw the polish on my hands. It was too long since I'd done anything like this - being back at the Academy had been far more eventful and stressful than I'd been anticipating. I couldn't help but miss Portland sometimes.

"I think I have to go and actually pack." I pouted to Liss when my nails were dry. "I'll ring you every day though, and I'll probably see you again before I go," I promised, dreading having to leave her company and be stuck with only my impending visit on my mind.

After packing, I decided I'd rather spend my time at the gym than moping around Christian's room pretending that I was okay. Maybe punching something would make me feel better. I was surprised when the gym wasn't empty - it was late enough that most people were back in their rooms by now. Christian apparently had nothing better to do, though.

I stood in the doorway for a few moments watching him go at it against the punching bag. His punches were far more powerful than when we'd started training at the beginning of the field experience and his muscles had grown accordingly. I realised slightly unsettlingly that I was checking him out. I didn't bother to move from where I was leant against the door frame, though. There was something particularly appealing about the way Christian's shirt lifted up to reveal a small amount of skin when he launched his fist towards the bag.

Eventually, though, I shook myself out of it. I was just depraved of physical contact. And besides, there was nothing wrong with thinking someone was attractive. That was just normal, right?

"You packed everything?" Christian inquired after I'd made my presence known by coming to lean against the wall beside him.

"Yeah," I replied, beginning to stretch. I may as well do what I'd originally come to the gym for, which was to work out.

Christian pulled away from the punching bag completely to talk to me. "How was Lissa? I bet she's pretty upset about you going away."

"She's the least upset out of the two of us," I complained, before remembering that my intention wasn't to make Christian feel any guiltier than I was sure he already did. "She's fine. She gave me a phone. I have to call her every day."

"Oh right, that's cool," Christian agreed, lifting his arms above his head to stretch and revealing that same band of skin that my eyes lingered on automatically before bringing them back down. "You want to spar?" He inquired, obviously unaware of my distraction.

"Sure," I agreed. "I'm just going to run first." I needed to make sure I was focused before sparring with Christian. I wasn't sure that deciding to check him out was the best way of coping with my impending visit. Which was all it was, obviously: a distraction, because I really needed one right now.

I never used my absolute full strength against Christian. Though he was far better than when we first started, stamina and strength training took a long time, especially for a Moroi. I focused more on technique when we were actually fighting and tried to hold back so I didn't do any actual damage. Christian always gave it his all, though, and sometimes he actually managed to hurt me.

This was one of those times.

I couldn't help the faint groan that left my lips as his fist collided with my stomach. I should have blocked it easily, but I'd been distracted variously by the bead of sweat that was clinging to Christian's forehead and the fact that if I was fighting Dimitri right now he could have crushed me. "Ow, you dick," I complained, grimacing at the sensation of being winded and gesturing for him not to bother attempting to floor me before wrapping my arms around my stomach briefly.

Christian's eyes widened. "Oh shit, whoops, I forget there's certain places I'm not supposed to hit. I'm not really used to this stuff yet. It doesn't really hurt does it?"

I shook my head after taking a deep breath. "No, it's fine." I allowed, grimacing at the now dull pain. "Let's go."

Christian shifted slightly, not bothering to regain his fighting stance. "No, it's cool, I need to go to the feeders and stuff before curfew anyway. I've been in here for ages."

I attempted and failed to raise my eyebrow. Surely he wasn't quitting just because he'd actually landed a good punch on me. There was no point in arguing it, though. He was right, it was getting pretty close to curfew. "Have you packed everything?" I inquired as we walked towards the cafeteria.

Christian was about to respond when I caught the black figure towards me. I knew the drill instantly and moved Christian behind me, instructing him not to move.

When the figure got close enough for me to distinguish some features in the semi darkness, I almost froze. I didn't recognise the person in front of me, apart from the brown mop of hair that was startlingly like Dimitri's. That was the first thing that threw me off. The second was that his face was absolutely foreign to me. I'd never seen this guardian around the Academy and so perhaps he was someone that had been sent by Victor.

This hesitation cost me a harsh blow on the shoulder that I failed to react properly to. The pain was enough to snap me out of my thoughts and recover before what would have been the final kick of the fight hit me. I dodged at the last second and regained my concentration.

Despite having similar hair, this guy was nowhere near as skilled as Dimitri and I suspected the reason I didn't recognise him was actually because he worked on the elementary campus. Once I was focused I quickly disposed of him with a swift kick to the knee and the wooden practice stake above his chest.

Yuri, who was standing with a clipboard at the side, smiled and nodded. "Good job, Rose. Just got to be more alert in the beginning."

My smile was forced. "Sure thing."

Christian frowned at me when they were gone. "What happened? You looked... confused."

"He just looked like Dimitri," I muttered. "Well, he didn't. His hair was just the same and it's dark."

Christian looked doubtful. "That's all?" He checked.

I shrugged as non-committedly as I could. "Well, last time Victor did something it was guardians who took Liss and I just didn't recognise him." I explained with a sigh. "I know I'm just being stupid - Alberta wouldn't be silly enough to hire someone new after Victor has been released, he will just be working in another part of the Academy, but it just worried me for a second. The first reason was most of it, though."

"She'll be fine, Rose." Christian attempted to assure me, pushing the door to the cafeteria open and bathing us both in light. Now that I could see his expression clearly I realised that he had just as much worry as I did about Liss's safety whilst we were away. "You know that she will. Everything is set up to make sure nothing happens to her."

"I know." I allowed, though it didn't do much for my worrying. It was certainly a good job Lissa hadn't used her magic for a while considering how many things were plaguing my mind recently. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Christian punched my arm gently. "You know you'll be distracted by my awesome company anyway."

I could only hope that I really would be taken away from all the negative stuff that was likely to happen at Tasha's by Christian's surprisingly 'awesome' company.


	11. Chapter 11

_Holy shit what a boring chapter, I really do apologise. The next one is where it starts getting good, though, so I hope this isn't too off putting ;.;_

_Thanks SO much for everyone who has reviewed, it's crazy how many of you there are, it means a lot! _

* * *

_Chapter Eleven_

"Rose." Christian's voice was soft in my ear as he coaxed me awake, but I still groaned in annoyance. I'd much rather stay asleep than face the person who was waiting for me in the airport. "Wake up, Rose. We're landing soon. You need to put your seatbelt on."

I buried my face further into his chest, which I had apparently snuggled into during my snooze, and felt as his chuckle reverberated through me. "Maybe later."

Christian didn't speak for a moment, leaving me to properly wake myself up and follow his instructions. When I did pull away, I was once again surprised at how close our faces were. Despite us waking up in similar positions to this quite often recently, it never failed to make me freeze momentarily as our eyes met.

I glanced away and Christian unwrapped his arm from around my shoulder as I attempted to plug my seatbelt in. Unfortunately Christian's face couldn't distract me enough from what this next week was going to be like. Only now my anxiety about seeing Dimitri again was mixed with guilt about these weird things I kept feeling about Christian. I'd almost fully convinced myself it was because I'd not had any real male contact for so long, though.

"My Aunt is waiting for us at the airport." Christian clarified unnecessarily, he'd already told me this yesterday. "You can do whatever you want when we get home. I won't blame you if you hide in your room all day."

I made myself chuckle, though my sour mood was evident. "I'll keep you to that."

We both popped sweets into our mouths as the plane began its descent, though part of me wondered if it was worth messing my ears up in the hope I had an excuse for not talking to anyone.

Christian kept sending me wary looks and it was beginning to irritate me. "I'm fine, Christian." I told him for what seemed like the thousandth time. "Please just enjoy seeing your Aunt and don't make it so obvious that I'm in an atrocious mood."

"I'll try." He sighed as we retrieved our luggage from the conveyor belt. "Let's go, then." Christian looked almost as nervous as I did. Surely he couldn't be _that _worried about me. I was hardly a fragile person, or at least, I didn't think I was.

Tasha and Dimitri were waiting together as we turned the corner and Tasha immediately engulfed Christian in a hug, grinning at her nephew. Then her face contorted into a momentary frown. "Rose?"

The evident surprise in her voice made me narrow my eyes at Christian. He returned my look sheepishly. "You didn't tell her I was coming?" I guess that explained his anxiety earlier.

Christian ran a hand through his hair guiltily. "Well, I was planning on surprising Lissa by bringing her, but obviously that didn't work out only I couldn't quite bring myself to talk about it, so I figured I'd just deal with it later. Since there was supposed to be someone coming with me anyway I figured it wouldn't matter."

I glared harder at him and he shrugged - I really didn't want to have inconvenienced Tasha or anything, though. That wouldn't really be fair. Tasha just looked completely bewildered. "So, what's going on?"

"I broke up with Lissa." Christian supplied, a grimace making its way onto his face. "She cheated on me, so yeah, I'd rather just not talk about it."

Any positive expression Tasha's face fell completely. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But how come Rose is here? You were never the closest." The somewhat suspicious look on her face had me willing down a blush.

"It's part of the field experience this year." I explained. "I had to come on holiday with Christian wherever he went."

Tasha chuckled. "I hope this won't be too dull for you, then. I'm sure it wouldn't have been your first choice."

My chuckle sounded surprisingly real. Maybe I should have become and actor rather than a guardian. "It's fine. It's quite nice to get out of the Academy for a while, actually." I lied effectively. Only Christian knew I was bullshitting.

I spared Dimitri a glance then. It had been really hard for me to keep my eyes off his stoic figure, but when I did finally lay my eyes on him it was almost impossible to look away. He looked as good as ever, of course, with his stupid long coat and stupid long hair. That meant he'd been just as surprised that I was here as Tasha, though he'd done a much better job of keeping his guardian mask intact.

My chest hurt slightly. At least they weren't holding hands or anything yet. This was going to be tougher than I'd anticipated. Tasha's voice broke me out of my thoughts, though, and it had regained its bubbly quality. "Let's get heading home, then. I'm sure you don't want to be standing around in the airport and longer."

The drive home was surprisingly bearable. It was mainly spent with Christian and Tasha chatting, much to my delight. It both meant Christian was happy and that I didn't have to put on my false smile very much. Tasha would occasionally ask me questions, but it was never anything too taxing.

"There's only one bed." Tasha apologised to me. "I didn't think it'd be a problem since Lissa was supposed to be coming, but it's probably less than ideal for you."

I waved her off easily. "It's okay, I'm used to sleeping on Christian's floor by now." I joked slightly, not bothering to mention the fact that I'd probably end up in his bed at some point due to my foul moods.

Christian and I lugged our cases up to the spare room and I collapsed onto the bed. Sleeping the middle of the day like I had on the plane seemed to just drain me. The switch over to a human schedule didn't really help, either. "You okay?" Christian checked with me, leaning against the wall and looking down on my sprawled out figure.

I nodded as best as I could from my comfortable position. "Yeah." I assured him. "I still can't believe you didn't tell her." I rolled my eyes.

Christian chuckled. "I suppose I really should have, but I just couldn't quite bring myself to. I just can't be bothered with all the stupid questions I'll inevitably be asked over the next week."

"It won't be that bad. There's not even really that much to say about the whole situation." I figured that was true anyway. "If you're going to see Tasha I think I'll come and find you in a bit, I'm going to ring Liss to tell her I'm here." I could tell through the bond that she was worrying about me, just in case anything had happened to plane - which was of course incredibly unlikely.

"Okay sure." Christian agreed. "We'll probably be in the lounge or something."

After Christian had shut the door, I rummaged around in my hand luggage back and retrieved the phone, turning it on and then dialling Liss's number. I knew she'd pick up instantly. "Hey Rose." She greeted me. She was torn between happiness that I'd called her and misery that I wasn't at the Academy.

"Hey Liss." I replied. "I just got here. How're you?" Though I already knew exactly how she was through the bond, I figured it was polite to ask.

"I'm fine." She assured me. "I'm going to train with Adrian later so that'll be fun. Have you got your own room?"

"No." I lamented. "I was so looking forward to sleeping in a bed, too." There was no point in mentioning that Christian had been planning on bringing Liss with him. It would only make her sad. Liss was already a bit annoyed that I'd be sleeping in the same room as Christian still - her more jealous side managed to shine through a bit, even though she knew there wasn't anything going on.

The door cracking open prevented our conversation from continuing and I struggled to keep a straight face as Dimitri appeared in the doorway. "Liss I have to go now, but I'll call you tomorrow, okay? And call me if you need anything."

"Okay." Liss was excited enough about using her magic again that her mood showed no signs of blackness. "See you soon."

"Hey, Comrade." I greeted him warily from my position leaning against the headboard. "What's up?"

"Can we talk?" Dimitri asked me, almost hesitantly, still lingering in the doorway rather than fully entering the room.

"Sure." I agreed.

"I had no idea you were coming, so I haven't really thought about it, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Dimitri was obviously genuine and after our phone call he knew I wasn't going to be unreasonably bitter about the whole situation.

"It's okay." I allowed him. "It's not like we didn't both know it was the right thing to do."

Dimitri's smile was miniscule. "I also thought it would be a long time before we saw each other again."

"Yeah, me too."

"How is the princess? She didn't strike me as the kind of person to do that to Christian. What actually happened?" Dimitri moved from the doorway and chose to sit on the sofa that was at the end of the bed since it appeared we were going to have an actual conversation. Whilst we were talking about something it was at least a slight distraction from the pain that blossomed in my chest as his accent wrapped around me and his lips occasionally quirked into a tiny smile.

"I didn't think she was either." I admitted honestly. "It was weird. Her and Adrian were practising magic and he was drunk and it was just a bit bizarre." I attempted to explain it. "She just liked the whole breaking the rules thing."

"I guess that's something you have in common, then." I hadn't really thought of it that way. Maybe the reason I'd never been tempted by anyone else was because Dimitri and I were already breaking the rules and stuff the way we were. "But still, Adrian? It just seems odd to think about."

"I know." I agreed. "It is. It shocked me too."

"Is Liss going to be at the Academy with Victor running around free?"

I sighed. "I hope so." I murmured. "She has Eddie looking out for her and Alberta too. At least there was something that made me want to come here less than seeing you again." I teased lightly.

Dimitri chuckled. "I'm sorry you did have to come. It's going to be really awkward, I know."

"It's not your fault. It's just the way it is." Now that we were on the topic of our relationship and away from the formal stuff, it was harder to keep a straight face. I was unsure whether I wanted to Dimitri to stick around to make the most of seeing him again, or if I wanted to punch him in the face for having left in the first place. Even if I knew it was right, it didn't stop it hurting any less.

"I know, it's just a bit rubbish." Dimitri shrugged and then sighed. "I don't really know what to do with myself."

I ran a hand through my hair, before remembering just how much Dimitri had always liked it and wondering whether he'd think I'd meant something by it or not. "I don't know either." I agreed. "Just pretend I'm not here. I'm only guarding Christian, anyway." I blinked away the threatening tears. He would of course continue his relationship with Tasha as if nothing had happened and I would have to witness it. That was just the way it was.

The door creaked open once more to reveal a smiling Christian. It faded when he noticed Dimitri and my obviously unconvincing expression. "You want to go for a walk?" He asked me. "Aunt Tasha is making tea, so I thought we may as well go out for a bit. There's a park down the road."

My lips turned up in a more genuine smile this time. "Sure." I agreed. That actually sounded quite nice.

Dimitri stood up and clearly wasn't sure if Christian knew about the situation or not. "I'll go and help make the food." He excused himself awkwardly.

Christian's face morphed into a glare almost automatically at the sound of Dimitri's voice and it followed him until he left the room. "What did he want?" Christian asked me, sounding more annoyed than I'd anticipated.

"Just to apologise and ask about Liss and Victor and stuff." I explained. "It was weird. And awkward."

Christian's face remained in a grimace and he made a non-committal noise. "Let's go, then. As long as you actually want to. We can hang around the house if you want."

"No, I want to go out." I assured him. "I've got to make the most of being awake before switching to human time catches up with me." I joked, hoping to pick Christian's expression up a bit. When his scowl didn't budge, I sighed. "Please stop looking so miserable."

Christian raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm fine."

"Your constant grimace suggests otherwise." I countered.

Christian's sigh was much bigger than mine. "It just annoys me seeing you be so civil with him, after what he did."

"What he did wasn't even actually that bad." I told him honestly. "I mean, we were never together and he didn't cheat on me. He made the decision to not threaten his career. You're just biased because you've spent so much time with me. Besides, you've been fairly civil with Liss, too." Which was true.

"I guess." Christian conceded. "I've only been so fine with Liss because of the Victor stuff, though, and because I've been worried that she'll go back to being depressed." That was the first time he'd admitted his worries over this, but it had clearly been something we'd both been thinking.

"Well, I guess now we know that it's me we have to worry about getting depressed, and I'm sure I can handle it." My tone was light-hearted, despite the realistic concern.

"Please don't joke about it." Christian muttered. "You're still supposed to be genuinely considering telling Liss about this."

"I know, I am." I lied. "She's practising her magic tonight, so I guess we'll see what happens." That definitely didn't cheer Christian up and I groaned. "Come on, let's just go and walk. I'm sure I'll say something that makes you happy eventually."


	12. Chapter 12

_Argh, this chapter is shorter than I'd normally like, but there just wasn't a good way to extend it :( But, I personally think it's a bit of a good one, so I hope it's worth it! _

_So, to Kelsey Monroe - I hope I didn't butcher your expectations for this chapter! Personally I think it turned out rather well, in terms of portraying Rose's mental state, but I'm definitely interested to hear your opinions! _

_Thanks so much for all the reviews guys! Means a lot :'D As always, if you're interested in any of my non-fanfiction stories, my wattpad account is linked on my profile! _

_Hope this was okay and not disappointingly short! _

_Chapter Twelve_

The scene in Spokane had been re-lived for me both when awake and asleep. But as I stared at the doorway and watched Mason stupidly empty the clip into Isaiah's chest it was just as soul crushing as always. The admiration in his eyes was almost too much to bare - I certainly didn't deserve it directed at me.

Isaiah's smirk was identical to always, as was the way that Mason's neck snapped and his body lost life, as was the scream that tore from my throat. And then Mason was dead and I had to kill Isaiah and continue to breath, despite how I tempted I was to just give up and join Mason on the ground.

There was hope, though. Hope in the form of Dimitri standing in the doorway, promising with words, but mainly his eyes, that he'd always protect me, as long as he could. His arms promised it too, as they wrapped protectively around me, leading me away from the bloody scene.

Leading me straight to Tasha.

"I'm sorry, Rose, you know I am." He apologised, though the sincerity was missing like it had been in real life when this had happened. There was no remorse and Dimitri left me cold to embrace Tasha, giving her a small, intimate kiss. There was almost a smirk on Tasha's face as she watched for a reaction. "But Christian's here." Dimitri gestured to where a person with a mop of black hair and shining blue eyes approached me. "I'm sure he'll look after you."

And when I looked at Christian and allowed him to guide me along the road (I wasn't even sure where we were going at this point - it wasn't a normal feature of my dreams), I didn't doubt that he would. Despite his movements not being as overtly romantic as Dimitri's, there was a certain tenderness, not expected from Christian but seemingly reserved just for me in this moment.

When I spotted Liss in the distance, no fear filled me. Liss and Christian were over; he could barely even look at her any more.

The embrace that Christian left me for suggested otherwise, though, as did the words that Liss was whispering in his ear, causing his face to brighten much more than it had around me. "I'm sure you'll be fine on your own." Christian dismissed my now shaking figure. "It can't be that hard."

Liss wasn't even paying me any attention as she fawned over Christian, running hands through his hair like I told myself I didn't want to do. "Are you going to watch me come and practise my magic?" She asked him, a naturally flirting tone to her voice.

Christian nodded, his eyes never even leaving her now.

My mouth opened, but I couldn't bring myself to stop her. Or them. Liss should be allowed to do her magic, it was only fair. It was a gift. It would make her happy. And she had looked particularly happy just now. And Christian definitely wasn't mine to offer an opinion on.

But how was I supposed to deal with the impending madness now that I didn't have Christian's reassuring company? There was no one to hold me when I was scared that I'd do something stupid one day. There was no one to cheer up my dismal moods, to convince me that I was strong enough to repel whatever the blackness I absorbed from Lissa was.

Tears gathered in my eyes and a sudden headache formed. When I checked the bond, it was almost as though it wasn't Liss's head I was looking into. It was just a mixture of twisted darkness, shadows and various voices that I couldn't understand.

They were for me, though - that was all I knew as the blackness seeped through our invisible connection and into my head. It felt like I was going to suffocate and a silent scream left my mouth.

My eyes stung as I sat up in bed, eyes instantly searching for Christian in the dark room. Seeing him opening the door almost made me panic. "Christian?" I hated the hint of desperation that leaked in my voice as I ran a hand through my hair, attempting to stop my them quivering like they wanted to.

As soon as my voice broke the silence, Christian immediately shut the door and returned to the bed that we had shared. "Rose? What's up?"

I sighed, calmed by the quickness with which he had come back to me: that at least was nothing like the dream. "Nothing." I dismissed. "It was just a bad dream. It's not important." Now that I was awake and _slightly _calmer, I realised how embarrassing it was.

"Just tell me." Christian said simply, sitting so that our legs and arms were pushed together. Though it was dark, my eyes had now adjusted enough to just about see Christian's concerned face.

I hesitated only a moment before launching into the retelling. Part of me knew I wanted to just because of how much it had shaken me. "It was back in Spokane and I was watching Mason die and then Dimitri came and took me away and then left me for Tasha and then you came and left with Liss because she went to practise magic and then I absorbed all this blackness," I shuddered involuntarily, "and that's when I woke up." I tried to skim over the fact that Christian had also left me and the things that were implied with it.

Christian wrapped his arm around my shoulder before responding and I automatically snuggled into his side a little bit. "Rose, you know I'd never leave you like that." I blinked at how he'd come to the part which had bothered me most immediately, despite the fact I'd tried not to show it. "Especially not with everything that's happened."

"I know." I agreed. And I did, it was just so hard not to be scared of the possibility after everything that had happened. "I _do _know, I just-" I swallowed my words. I just what? I just cared about Christian, apparently a lot, was the answer.

"Rose." The way my name fell from Christian's lips was something I could listen to forever, especially when he accompanied it with the hand that began running almost subconsciously through my hair. "It'll all be okay. I'm not going anywhere."

I stared up at Christian. Did he really mean that? Because when it came to graduation and Lissa and I were leaving for court there would be nothing to keep Christian with me. I bit the inside of my cheek at this. It was inevitable. Christian _would _leave me. Then what would stop the impending madness? Maybe this dream was even the first sign of it.

Christian's hand on my face brought me from my quickly souring thoughts. "Rose." He repeated my name once more, his stare far more intense than I remembered. Before I had even fully realised what was happening, Christian had leant closer and pressed his lips ever so gently against mine.

At least they were gentle at first.

Once I'd recovered from the surprise of Christian actually kissing me, I responded, my fingers threading through his hair as the light touch of our lips became more heated. It was almost bizarre how much I'd managed to deny the fact I wanted Christian and I to become something more intimate until it was actually happening; until the heat was humming through my body pleasantly and our bodies couldn't get any closer. The way our tongues tied directly contrasted to the gentle finger that was trailing up my arm and causing me to shiver.

It was only when we were both breathless that I pulled away and chose to rest my head on Christian's chest instead. Neither of us spoke for a few moments, but my lips tingled and our heavy breathing was easily heard in the silent night. It was much easier to focus the intense happiness I was feeling after eventually kissing Christian than the threatening reality of what had just happened.

"I'm not going to leave you Rose." He repeated his earlier sentiments, voice soothing and the phrase much more meaningful after the moment we had just shared.

"I believe you." I replied honestly. Though I might be more doubtful in the future, right now I was completely sure that he was telling the truth.

"We're going to have to talk about this at some point, aren't we?" Christian inquired, apparently just as unenthusiastic at the prospect as I was.

Naturally, though, the fact I had just kissed my best friend's ex-boyfriend wasn't something to be ignored. Neither was the fact I very much wanted to do it again. "Yeah." I agreed, voice dismal. "I guess we are."

"Tomorrow, though, right?" He checked, almost pleading as our eyes met.

I found myself chuckling, despite the sudden mix of emotions, centred on guilt, that were flooding me. "Definitely." I agreed.

"If we don't go to sleep soon we're going to be really exhausted tomorrow." Christian pointed out, through a yawn that gave away we'd both been awake too long and were suffering from the changeover to human time.

I nodded and allowed myself to lie down, not even questioning Christian as he wrapped his arms around me and our legs tangled intimately.

How I had managed to deny the obvious attraction between us up until this point was beyond me.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hi everyone! Sorry about the horrible delay on this chapter, but uni life has been super stressful and I've started publishing shorts on amazon so that's been taking up a bit of time too. Though, I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope it's enjoyable! Really getting into the meaty stuff in this story now! _

_Hope you enjoy and sorry again for the horrible delay. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me! _

Breakfast couldn't have been more awkward. Christian and I had decided to skip past "talking" about what had happened and just gone downstairs instead. And that meant dealing with questions about Lissa and Victor Dashkov whilst Christian and I could barely even look at each other.

"So there's really nothing that can be done about him being let out of prison?" Tasha questioned, frown prevalent. "It's horrendous, really. Yet another thing the Moroi elite have managed to get wrong."

Christian only nodded his agreement, glancing at me once before lowering his eyes to the half-eaten slice of toast on his plate once more. "How's the body clock working out? It's a shame you're only staying for a week, really."

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired." Christian agreed half-heartedly. That probably had something to do with the fact we'd been awake for a significant chunk of the night.

I let out a small sigh, though only Christian caught it, acknowledging with a small one of his own. "So, what are you two planning on doing today?" Tasha inquired.

I was just leaving all the talking to Christian here, a bit worried that I'd snap at someone if I did any myself. I wasn't in the best state of mind right now. "I'm not really sure." Christian dismissed. "I guess we'll decide in a bit. Do you have any plans?"

Christian and I had given each other one look this morning before deciding that we'd get something to eat before broaching last night. I wondered how much longer we could put it off. "Not really. I thought we'd just tag along with you, unless you want to do something by yourselves." The implication I was sure was there had me cringing inside. "I've booked a table a restaurant tonight though, I thought we'd go out. It's a bit fancy, you'll be horrified to note." She smirked at Christian and his apparent need to wear a proper shirt.

I wasn't sure if I'd even brought anything 'fancy' in my case. Did I even own anything like that anymore?

"I guess we'll just go for a walk." Christian muttered, quickly stuffing his mouth with toast to avoid more conversation.

"Sounds fun!"

"I'm just going to go and call Liss." I excused myself, grateful for the excuse. "She wanted me to call her and I'm sure she'll be going to sleep." The time difference thing meant early morning and late at night was the only time we'd both be awake.

Christian sent the harshest of glares, but I simply willed down a blush and scampered for the stairs, abandoning the food I had no appetite for.

Back in the room, I didn't pick up my phone, but decided to simply lay on the bed and delve into Lissa's head instead. She was just cleaning her teeth, her mood glowing from practising her magic with Adrian. I saw the blackness though, lingering, pushing her to remember that Adrian had learnt one of her skills whereas she'd not been able to pick up anything.

I dragged it away without a second thought, hoping it wouldn't affect my mood too much. It had only been a smidgen of darkness, so much she'd not even been able to feel it, and that was good. Lissa was perfectly serene and not a thought of me lingered in her mind, so I wasn't going to call her.

A touch on my arm broke me away from Lissa's thoughts and I came around to Christian's handsome face hovering in my vision. "Liss okay?"

"Really good, actually." And so was I. I couldn't feel that darkness either. Then the situation came crashing down around me and my eyes averted to my hands, which clung to each other. "I guess this is the talk, then."

Christian also shifted uncomfortably, taking a seat at the other end of the bed so there was a healthy distance between us. "I guess so."

Neither of us wanted to be the one to say it. It was a harsh reality.

"Look, we can't do this." I finally made the words leave my mouth, unable to look at him as I said it. "It's not all right for us to do this."

"I know." He agreed, though I could hear the protest whirring in his head. Lissa had cheated on him - he didn't owe her anything. The reason we weren't doing this was to protect my friendship with Lissa, and that wasn't fair on Christian. It was just a rough situation all around. "I know we can't. I understand." I almost wished he'd kick and scream and argue that we should just do this anyway. Because we shouldn't have to owe it to his cheating ex-girlfriend.

But she was my best friend.

And so I couldn't.

No matter how quickly the tears gathered in the corner of my eyes at that realisation. "I'm…just going to use the bathroom." I stood up too quickly and avoided Christian's gaze as a tear plopped off the end of my nose.

"Rose-"

I escaped his arm as it attempted to grab my wrist and slammed the door behind me, locking myself in the bathroom so that I could get my sobs out without any interference.

Thankfully I had packed something relatively smart that had sufficed for dinner tonight. It was a pencil skirt that was long enough to be elegant and a flowery top that stopped my outfit being over the top. My strappy sandals hurt my feet and didn't do anything for my foul mood.

The pizza was making it hard to stay upset, though. Tasha certainly had good taste when it came to eating out, anyway. The conversation had been neutral so far and easy for me to stay out of. Tasha and Christian talked offensive magic and memories. It was actually nice to hear and had obviously done a lot to cheer Christian up. Seeing his genuine smile and those ocean blue eyes shining made my lips quirk in spite of myself.

"So, what are your plans for next year now?" Tasha inquired nonchalantly, pushing a salad leaf around her plate. "Do you think I might get your company full time now you and Lissa are…separated?"

Christian's eyes flickered to me immediately, though he returned them to his Aunt quick enough. "I think I might still go to Court for a while." He offered, quite clearly to appease me.

Christian would certainly not be coming to Court with Lissa and me. There was absolutely no reason for him to. He'd _hate _Court and we both knew it.

Tasha's eyebrows shot up as my heart sank. "Really?" She inquired, quite clearly shocked. "_Why?"_

Christian shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hating the topic just as much as I did. I barely lifted my eyes from my plate – not that I'd made any effort to for much of the dinner. "I really like the look of Pennsylvania College." He lied, offering his Aunt a weak smile. "And besides, my friends will all be at Court. Mia is there already and I know Eddie is hoping to work there rather than being assigned to a Moroi."

"Oh," she mulled this over. "I suppose I did get my hopes up without really thinking it through."

Christian wouldn't be coming to Court.

"So, Rose, do you have your graduation outfit sorted out yet?" Tasha changed the subject, though not an overly better one. Graduation simply meant Christian's departure. This also meant I had to socialise, which I was less than in the mood for right now.

"No, not yet." I hadn't even thought about it, with all that was going on right now. "I'll probably just pull something old out of my wardrobe, to be honest."

Tasha looked terribly affronted. "Oh, no, you can't do that." She waved me off in horror. "There's a gorgeous row of boutiques in the town and I was planning on taking Lissa for this reason, but, I'll be honest, I'm quite sure your figure would suit these gorgeous dresses much better anyway." I flushed at the compliment, images of Christian peeling me out of such a dress coming to my mind unbidden. Now we'd had one intimate moment it was like a floodgate had been opened. The thought of us getting hot and heavy dominated my mind, only to be crushed by the fact it would never happen. It was a vicious cycle.

"I have no money." I apologised, my cheeks still red as I shot a look at Christian, who was also watching me. I groaned mentally. What I'd do to be able to just have him. He was wearing a tight black shirt tonight, showing off the small amount of muscle he'd gained from training with me. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop the desire spreading all over my face.

Tasha waved me off once more. "I have more than enough. It'll be worth it to be able to spend a day dressing you up and to see my nephew's bored face at being dragged around shops."

That earned a chuckle from me. "Okay, that would be great, thanks Tasha." It was so hard to find any anger towards her regarding the Dimitri situation.

Dimitri had been stoic and silent for most of the dinner. He'd shot me glances every now and then with a concerned frown on his face. I obviously wasn't doing a very good job at hiding my foul mood from him. I'd effectively passed it off as being tired to Tasha, I hoped.

Finishing up with the meal, Tasha paid and we left the restaurant. I wasn't unaware of Christian's gaze as it landed on my ass that was shown off just a bit too much in this tight skirt. That did nothing to ease the sexual frustration that had come out of nowhere and seizing me. I couldn't bring myself to look away when our eyes met.

The heat between us was obvious.

I wished we hadn't stopped and been sensible last night.

The car ride home was mostly silent and I was sure being left to my own thoughts wasn't a good thing. I decided to check in on Lissa, but she was practicing her magic with Adrian and I couldn't deal with the weird flirtiness that entered their conversation on occasion and then the awkwardness that came after it. I doubted their relationship would be going back to normal any time soon.

Back in the house, Tasha excused herself to use the bathroom and Dimitri followed her up the stairs, clearly not wanting to be left around me and Christian. I stood awkwardly in the living room, shifting my weight before cursing the sandals out loud. "These things are so damned uncomfortable."

I received a light chuckle. "They look good, though. You look good."

I willed the heat not to rise in my cheeks, but it was unsuccessful. "Thank you. So do you."

We settled into an awkward silence filled with tension that wasn't even remotely innocent. A sudden blackness weighed on my mood though and I began to panic, sending Christian a pleading look. "Christian, Lissa's in a really bad mood." I avoided going into her head for the longest time, instead just having the weight of her blackness pressing against my own mood. It was there, waiting for me to take it from her, before she did something she'd regret.

Christian was instantly in front of me, any thoughts of our romantic dilemma fled from his mind. "What's happened?"

"I don't know, I don't want to go into her head to find out." I admitted, clinging onto his arms as tears formed in my eyes. "I have to take it from her, Christian."

Christian cupped my face with his hands, maintaining eye contact with me. "No you don't. You don't have to at all, Rose. She can work it out for herself. She can cope."

I shook my head, "no she can't."

I let the barrier dissolve, accepting the blackness into me and allowing it to take control. My hands had immediately torn Christian's hands off me, a feral grimace settling onto my features. "I have to get out of here." I explained to him, already walking towards the door. "I have to _do _something about this. It's not fair, that Adrian can pick up Lissa's moves whilst she can't learn his. How is that _fair _Christian? Something has to be _done_."

Christian had realised what I'd done immediately and attempted to block my path. But I was on a rampage, heading for something, anything, that I could take my anger out on. "Rose." My name from his lips was normally something else, but in this state I completely blanked it, my hand yanking the front door to Tasha's house open.

Christian had it closed before I'd managed to leave and had removed my hand from the handle. "You're not going anywhere, Rose."

When I tried again I was forced back against the door, Christian using his entire body weight to restrain me as my wrists were pinned to the hard wood. "Rose." He was trying to get through to a brick wall of hatred and anger. It was useless. "_Rose_."

I thrashed against him. I just had to do _something_. There had to be something I could punish for the injustice of Lissa's situation. There had to be something. "Rose."

Christian buried his face into my neck, placing a soothing kiss on the skin and derailing my anger for a moment, letting actual Rose get a look in. "Please calm down, Rose." My name was said with so much despair that I had no choice but to respond, ceasing in my struggling.

Warily, Christian let go of my arms and I threw them around his neck, burying my own face this time and allowing my real emotions to flood me. "I'm so scared." I whispered, sobs wracking my body as Christian clung back.

"It's okay. It's all going to be okay." He had promised it before and he stuck by it now, rubbing a soothing hand up and down my back. "It's fine."

"I don't want to do it anymore. I just don't want this."

"I know." His voice was just as choked as mine and I held on tighter, trying not to let total despair overwhelm me.

The sound of Dimitri's voice cut through the air. "What's going on, Rose?" He demanded, voice oozing of worry. I wondered how long he'd been standing there. Had he seen everything?

Wiping at my eyes and pulling away from Christian, I knew I'd have just smudged my make up everywhere. "Nothing, it's nothing." I dismissed, not meeting his eyes and staring at Christian instead, focusing on the concern in his face. Christian could get me through this, I believed it, but after graduation he wouldn't be there anymore and then what would happen?

"You weren't yourself just then. Something's wrong. I know you, Rose."

I finally brought myself to look at him and register the fear written all over his expression. He'd seen more than enough, then. "Look, it's not a big deal. I can handle it."

"That didn't look like handling anything. Please, just tell me what's wrong. Please."

I shifted, just wanting to get out of here and sleep. I just didn't want to think about it when the experience was still so raw. "Can I tell you tomorrow? I just want to sleep. I will tell you, I promise. Just not right now."

Dimitri was torn, but he eventually sighed and submitted with a nod. "Okay. I hope you're feeling better."

I managed a miniscule smile and returned my attention to Christian, asking with my eyes for him to join me in coming upstairs. It was obvious from his expression he hadn't been planning on doing anything else.

Back in our room, I fiddled with my sheets on the floor in silence, hoping but unwilling to instigate. Christian linked his fingers through mine and pulled me into the bed with him, wrapping his arms around me in a reassuring embrace. "Are you feeling better now?" He inquired, chin resting on my head and fingers threading through my hair.

I nodded. "Yes, thank you." Tears sprung to my eyes despite that statement. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"I think I'd be a pretty big mess if you weren't around too." He mumbled it into my hair with a small chuckle but a sincere tone.

My hand bunched in his shirt and I swallowed my doubts. "I really like you." I said it a lot stronger than I felt. "I really, really like you Christian."

Christian had anchored my head up by my hair and placed his mouth on mine without a verbal response. This told me more than enough about his emotions.

Our kiss was heated, passionate and my hands clung to his back and laced through his hair as if it was the only thing keeping me sane.

My heart pounded a mile a minute and my skin was on fire, longing desperately for him to touch me everywhere, to take me completely.

I needed Christian more than I had ever needed anyone, in every way.

Our moans were soft as hands travelled across bodies and our kisses never let up, even as clothes were shed and things became as intimate as they could.

We'd deal with this turn of events in the morning, but right now I was quite happy to revel in the coursing desire and genuine happiness that had completely overtaken me.


End file.
